• pooh [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I can easily fit four full onion rings on a widescreen burger without compromising the height to width ratio, whereas fitting even two fancy onion rings on a vertically oriented burger makes taking a bite impossible

    This is an excellent point, which is thinner ingredients. The burger in the photo, for example, looks like it has some ingredients repeating in the stack, which imo is valuable burger space wasted on redundant flavors. I'm not necessarily against wide burgers, mind you, I just think it's not as simple as the meme here claims, but maybe it can be done with careful ingredient selection and expert-level burger design.

    without, you guessed it, smashing that shit down to a more appropriate configuration.

    What if we were to use some kind of burger compactor to compress a normally tall fancy burger into an extremely dense (but manageable) burger-like form?

    • Speaker [e/em/eir]
      ·
      3 years ago

      What if we were to use some kind of burger compactor to compress a normally tall fancy burger into an extremely dense (but manageable) burger-like form?

      You're now talking about some kind of Scooby-Doo style sandwich compression tech, and I am listening.

      • pooh [she/her]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Maybe they could be like Cubanos, but uhhhhh... Burgers. Like this: https://youtu.be/FQLYDYmENrI

        But a dedicated burger compactor would probably make this easier. I don't think this exists, so we'll have to invent one.

        • Parent [none/use name]
          ·
          3 years ago

          You two need to look up something called a shooter's sandwich. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooter%27s_sandwich

        • Speaker [e/em/eir]
          ·
          3 years ago

          Dog, if I could get a vegan medianoche right now I'd be in 900 sorts of heaven. I will give up the fight on burger dimensions if we can just start a vegan cafetería cooperative and start pressing sandwiches yesterday.

          • pooh [she/her]
            ·
            3 years ago

            I'm totally down. What would we call it?

            • Speaker [e/em/eir]
              ·
              3 years ago

              Pitch session:

              • Gommunism No Food
              • Semper Fidel
              • Havana Syndrome
              • Smash Capitalism (and also sandwiches)
              • pooh [she/her]
                ·
                3 years ago

                My vote would definitely be for HAVANA SYNDROME