idk I just wanted to talk to some uhhhhh systeming folks mhm yes yes the uh diversity of the experience of identity, self, perception and more! :) shy

I can go first, shit is whack, holy hell!

idk it still does not feel real and idk how long before it will finally settle in? maybe it is something I have to swim upstream against like a salmon to feel real about? maybe that does not matter?

also it is sad I feel like I need to conform to a certain standard or way of plurality to be valid smh where is the appreciation for diversity of experiences and minds-- the former statement to myself.

maybe I will post some system art!!!! (i want to share art I make so badly) :) YIPPEEE!

yes maybe I am too online or maybe I just like talking to nice people that may have similar values who may "get it"

meow creature

  • Gaia [She/Her]@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    11 months ago

    I...struggle with myself. We like each other but there is so much self hatred that we have to be careful not to accidentally denigrate each other or suppress the other. She's a protector and because of that it can be hard to even get her to come out except in stressful situations where I black out entirely and she take over. She's so much more vengeful than I so it's a constant battle to not push people away in those situations, even if they want to help. Regardless, we are very thankful for each other. Makes life a lot less lonely.

    • starry_soda [comrade/them]
      ·
      11 months ago

      (sends virtual hugs!) :)))

      the denigration and suppression is real....... I have done that on purpose for years and it has definitely done a lot more harm than good hahahah

      though I myself have never experienced a black out...... all experiences are fascinating aren't they?

      I am glad for the less lonely aspect! I should talk to my headmates more but....... after so long of deliberate separation and such,,,,,, I guess I will try to be less of an ass to everyone in the brain central haha

      • Gaia [She/Her]@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        11 months ago

        Our experiences are fascinating yes lol, but I'd prefer to not emotionally traumatize my love ones to the point they even forget being traumatized 😭

        It takes a lot of work but being nicer to yourselves is totally worth

        Also thank you for the virtual hugs I invested them and I'll send you the profits