Seconded. It’s funny in that I’ve always identified as male, I’m very masc and feel at home in those traits, but at the same time every brainworm I’ve had to dig out, all the work I’ve put in in an effort towards self-improvement has been tearing down the toxic structures of masculinity that I’ve been socialized into. All of the worst aspects of my personality I can draw a clear line directly to some nonsense masculinity contest playing out in my subconscious. Genders a fuck. It’s not good folks