I've been speaking some time with an obviously ND person. I'm not sure exactly what they struggle with, but it's outwardly noticeable as such (kind of stumbling around, shaking, general social awkwardness, sometimes having outbursts). They also have explicit hearing problems.

We were in a larger group making small talk, and they asked me to repeat what I said, to which I reponded, "oh, nothing important". They responded immediately "isn't it the listener who should decide what's important?" which I accepted and then did repeat what I said.

Their instant response signaled to me either that they often have the same situation where people don't want to bother reprating themselves, and/or that they are much more mentally lucid than I prejudiciallly assumed.

Then I thought, isn't one of the core aspects of social awkwardness that you don't understand the situation you are in? That you can't even hear what people are saying? And then if people don't even bother repeating themselves upon request, wouldn't you feel that people don't value you, thus compounding alienation, anxiety, etc? This is obviously where I am part of the problem.

And all this because I don't like repeating myself, to ND/hearing-impaired people or not. I don't like having to raise my voice. The prospect of not being able to hear things is not something I ever have had to consider.

Anyone else have experiences like this? Know the view from the other side? Am I making sense?