Pictured: my friend’s cat.

I used to be indifferent to cats. I only ever had dogs, that were always more my parents’ dogs; I never felt any emotional connection to them, or felt in any way they were like, my animal companions (the “I only ever had” was for lack of better wording). And I just don’t like dogs.

I've never had a pet or whatever. A lot of us homeless kids have an animal companion, because this world is a lonely one, and a cat or a dog or a bird will never hurt us, or lie to us, or twack out on us. My friend loves their cat more than anything, and contrary to the stereotype about people addicted to opiates, they’d buy cat food before they’d buy drugs if it came down to it.

I’ve always been resistant to the idea. The idea of becoming one of those people. I’ve always been very hopeful in spite of everything, and in spite of how dour I always am, I don’t want to surrender, and make peace with just being alone forever.

And I’m too cerebral for my own good. I don’t believe the dorks who say animals don’t have any cognition/emotion, but I can’t help but feel like my friends are a bit delusional. I can’t not think of the sad reality of why my friend got their cat, even though she’s such a sweet, funny little creature, and I won’t be able to shake the fact that my hypothetical cat is there to distract me from the void, and be my wingman if I’m ever reunited with my friend. I don’t know if I’ll ever be capable of loving it. I never even loved my parents.

Cats always make me fucking smile though. There’s a cat who hangs out in the area where I camp. I think his name is Gregory and I always stop and hang out with him and try to feed him (he doesn’t like most of the food I bring him). He even runs up to me when he sees me. And when I see cats just like, around the neighborhood I always smile and laugh.

My friend got their cat either when they were living in their car/van, or just before that, but they insist that having a cat and being homeless is different. Having a dog and being homeless is fine, but cats uhhh they never gave an explanation.

I’ve met a few homeless people with cats though.

Having a cat would give me a reason to get up in the morning and give a shit. And the fact that I can barely feed myself as is won’t be a problem; my main source of income is what we call ‘spanging,’ i.e. panhandling, and spanging with a pet is usually a recipe for success. Especially if I train the cat to sit on my shoulder, like my friend did.

Only problem is I have literally never had a cat or any other kind of pet in my entire adult life. So I don’t know if I’d like it.

Also Creamsicle, my whale plushie friend, is staying at a friend’s house and he has to hide from their cat, so they might not get along.