Stop romanticising Xi, It makes you look like pathetic China fetishists.

No, Xi isn't going to have a bubble bath with you, stop photoshopping that and sending it to me.

No Xi isn't going to rub your shoulders and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

No, Xi isn't going to peepee on your poopoo. Disgusting.

I'm sick of you losers sending me pictures of Xi in sexy poses. This has to stop.

President Xi? More like President Shit.