I'm autistic, and long story short, the past month I finally got the hang of things. Going to my educational obligations thrice a week, & work. Sure, didn't always succeed, was always beat afterwards, still haven't hung out with friends (if i still got those), but shit was looking up.

This last week was horrible - everything was rescheduled which just meant I stayed home. The whole autism & needing consistent planning ain't a meme folks. But I was hopeful for next week, was going to do so well and meet my goals. I thought I wouldn't be desoriented and aimless for long. And whaddya know, I tested positive for covid 4 hours ago. Whole week fucked again. And complete uncertainty of the future: I won't know when I can leave isolation for another week. The week after next I'll have off... so that means another week without consistent anything. I'm scared of how hard it'll be to get back into it by then.

Luckily I've got the help of a lovely social worker/outpatient aid worker (whatev the English term is), but that won't make the next few weeks easy. /rant

  • crime [she/her, any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Interruptions to routines are the worst, especially when you've gotten into a groove. I'm sorry that you've got so much of that ahead of you and that the end time is uncertain, whenever I've been in similar situations it's been a huge drain on me (Routine disruption causing a meltdown is how I realized I'm autistic in the first place, so I def get tha). Also hope that your covid is asymptomatic or as mild as possible, comrade.

    It's really frustrating to finally feel like you've got the hang of things and then to get a big heap of shit dumped on your life and know how many things you've put effort into that you'll need to redo, but by doing it before you've proved that you can do it — I believe in you and know you'll be able to get back into it once you're able.

    When you're feeling up for it, can you schedule something low-pressure for the week after your week off? When I've been trying to get through unstructured and nebulous times, sometimes I'll just make like a dentist appointment or something just so I can have one scheduled thing to look forward to and add some feeling of structure back to my life — not sure if that's something you think will help for you, but every time I do something like that I'm always surprised by how much it helps me.

    Love and solidarity to you, I hope the next couple weeks pass quickly and as normally as possible given the circumstances :stalin-heart:

    • Mao_Zedong [comrade/them,none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      routine

      That's the word I was looking for!

      I appreciate the kind and thought-out response, comrade (one day it won't feel LARPy to call my comrades comrades). Great that you mentioned the scheduling thing, I wanted to do that but had forgotten. I'm going to plan some stuff for every day. What I've found to work for myself when I can't adhere to a "normal" schedule, but don't want to get stuck in limbo, is to plan 1-hour (indoor) tasks for every day. Tomorrow, that'll be some assignments. Tuesday, a report I've got to write. Wednesday I'm calling that social worker, and we'll plan the next few weeks together. I suspect many of those one hour plans involve reading theory, lol. Gotta do something productive.

  • nohaybanda [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Love and solidarity comrade. It sucks to get a stick in your spokes just as you're getting into your rhythm. I hope you get well soon.

    Silver lining: you can get some you time and plan ahead. Reflect on your progress (even if it's not much. God knows I've been treating water for ages), read some theory, find something fulfilling to charge up.

    :meow-hug:

    • Mao_Zedong [comrade/them,none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      read some theory,

      I've got Fanon, Lenin, Stalin, and Kropotkin (my ancom friend forced me ;p) on my nightstand to get through. And some new Parenti on the way... So I'll def at least get something productive done. Sucks that I've only ever been able to attend 2 protests, and can do very little to fight for the socialist cause, but I hope to be able to be way more active in a few years. I'll reflect on how far I've come to even get to this point though, that's good advice.

      I appreciate your message, I didn't expect for the responses to this post to feel so, idk understanding?