No dude, you’re just unable to express yourself in any way that wasn’t explicitly modeled by your emotionally stunted family. You don’t feel threatened by your dog because you consider them subhuman, you could physically overpower them, and the only way they could hurt you emotionally is to die.
The moment your girlfriend does something to make you feel an uncomfortable emotion, you’ll remember that she’s human and slip back into cold stoicism because it is literally your only coping mechanism. Enjoy the physical contact with another human being while it last, though. Turns out that touch is a human need and you’ve probably been deprived of it most your life.
I see a lot of people relating heavily to this post, particularly a lot of men. If the post or this comment is relatable to you, it’s possible to learn more coping strategies and get more in touch with your emotions. When people say “get therapy”, that’s pretty much what they mean since those are the skills and self-knowledge you learn in therapy. But if that’s out of reach for you for financial or familial reasons, journaling about your thoughts, feelings, and desires is a good idea whether you’re in therapy or not.
The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.
Oh gotcha. Yeah it’s literally the case that not only men enforce patriarchy. I believe there was some extra context to the whole “rituals of power” thing that makes it more specific.
patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem
this is where I am an expert resister. I am a goddamn psychic commando, try to come at me with your toxic patriarchal shit and I will destroy you with facts, logic AND emotions bitch. your pathetic repressed emotions stand no chance against my empathy honed and tempered in the fires of pain and suffering. I can see through you like glass, while my psyche is locked inside a concrete fortress. I am the anti-toxin. I will overpower your mind and make you submit to ME. I will make you a better person with more emotional intelligence no matter if you want to or not.
this attitude, incidentally, is maybe why I don't get along with other men very well. Good for resisting the patriarchy though.
I knew that someone would challenge that one lol. Yeah I have Great Dane and if that boof ever decides to fuck me up I’m done. He accidentally knocks me over sometimes jumping up for loves and I’m pretty big
No dude, you’re just unable to express yourself in any way that wasn’t explicitly modeled by your emotionally stunted family. You don’t feel threatened by your dog because you consider them subhuman, you could physically overpower them, and the only way they could hurt you emotionally is to die.
The moment your girlfriend does something to make you feel an uncomfortable emotion, you’ll remember that she’s human and slip back into cold stoicism because it is literally your only coping mechanism. Enjoy the physical contact with another human being while it last, though. Turns out that touch is a human need and you’ve probably been deprived of it most your life.
I see a lot of people relating heavily to this post, particularly a lot of men. If the post or this comment is relatable to you, it’s possible to learn more coping strategies and get more in touch with your emotions. When people say “get therapy”, that’s pretty much what they mean since those are the skills and self-knowledge you learn in therapy. But if that’s out of reach for you for financial or familial reasons, journaling about your thoughts, feelings, and desires is a good idea whether you’re in therapy or not.
-bell hooks
to be fair it's not just men who police toxic masculinity
I hope that wasn’t anyone’s main takeaway from that quote
no it's a very useful quote but that's the only thing I can think to add about it
Oh gotcha. Yeah it’s literally the case that not only men enforce patriarchy. I believe there was some extra context to the whole “rituals of power” thing that makes it more specific.
This is an amazingly helpful comment.
I’m glad. You’re not alone, comrade. Feel free to DM if you’d like to dump a little bit.
this is where I am an expert resister. I am a goddamn psychic commando, try to come at me with your toxic patriarchal shit and I will destroy you with facts, logic AND emotions bitch. your pathetic repressed emotions stand no chance against my empathy honed and tempered in the fires of pain and suffering. I can see through you like glass, while my psyche is locked inside a concrete fortress. I am the anti-toxin. I will overpower your mind and make you submit to ME. I will make you a better person with more emotional intelligence no matter if you want to or not.
this attitude, incidentally, is maybe why I don't get along with other men very well. Good for resisting the patriarchy though.
What you said is like the Navy SEAL Copypasta, except it's awesome and I unironically like it. :rat-salute:
The most masculine form of anti-patriarchy lol
Fuck you I’ll paint my nails and wear a skirt and feel my emotions if I want because I’m an independent man who does whatever the fuck he wants
Edit: jk I’m not a man. But defiant non-patriarchal masculinity is a BIG mood
:cri:
Fuck
I can't overpower a dog. Dogs can bite. I'm terrified of them. They're cute little furballs onto which I can project love, though.
I knew that someone would challenge that one lol. Yeah I have Great Dane and if that boof ever decides to fuck me up I’m done. He accidentally knocks me over sometimes jumping up for loves and I’m pretty big
I, too, have attachment issues because of my family.