I don't think it's being melodramatic at all. Felt the lot of the same shit you've felt. I never took meds, but they absolutely devastated my family in ways that I didn't see the worth in taking them.
I don't know what your social circumstances are, but I hope you can find a good friend or two in life to just share experience and shoot the shit with. It's the only thing that keeps me going, and my friends are understanding of my situation, even through the highs and lows. It's really the only form of therapy I feel that works for me. Outside of that, I don't know if there are any 'real' solutions to this. Being stuck in this capitalist garbage heap makes it worse, and all you can do really is just maintain day to day. Some just slip and fall. When a family member of mine ended up going insane after a divorce, I was seriously considering suicide. Took some social interaction to climb out of that hole.
Honestly I hope your heart and mind settle down dawg. I really mean that shit. I don't know how or in what way, but I hope it does. I've had it bad, but I know others always have it worse. You have seizures and shit - I never experienced that, but I know people that have and I know how hard it is just to hold employment. If you ever feel the need to talk more, I'm always down.
Hey, thank you for your compassionate response. Yes, medication even when necessary and prescribed can be a double edged sword.
As for the importance (necessity, even) of having a good friend or two in life, oh man do I agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately I really don't have that. Due to a combination of shame at my circumstances and extreme social anxiety, I've been pretty much friendless and isolated for years. I actually attribute a lot of my issues, including a good amount of the mental decline we've been talking about, to all that solitude. I sometimes think important parts of my brain responsible for socializing have atrophied, maybe literally. I've been considering for a while making a detailed post about it in c/mentalhealth, but never know where to start or what good it would ultimately do. I'm very glad to hear you have a good irl support network and that it has helped you as much as it has, especially out of a truly dark time. I agree that just having friendly people to be around is vastly more beneficial than even professional therapy - not that that can't be a big help to some people too. (Also, condolences about your family member.)
And just to be clear, I don't have seizures anymore. That was just something that happened when I was going through benzodiazepine withdrawal. However, I am still coping with the long term effects that those seizures and other aspects of the withdrawal had on me. But again, I don't know how much of my current fucked up state is due to that specifically or to... well, everything else. I know the peripheral neuropathy is from that for sure. Because we were talking about environmental toxin exposure, in your case lead, one thing that might be causing a lot of my issues, both physical and mental, could be mold toxin exposure. My psychiatrist (who I only get to have a phone consult with for 45 minutes once every 3 months) first suggested it and is confident that it's playing a role. If so, I'm stuck with it. But I don't want to ramble on too long about my personal woes, especially when like you said, so many others have things so so much worse. Not that it's ever a competition though - suffering sucks, period.
Thanks again for the kind message comrade. :heart-sickle:
I think you should definitely make that post. Take your time with it. I'm sure you're aware of how many people are affected by harmful substances in their living environment. Many of them aren't even able to reflect on it in the way that you and I are able to. I think that perspective might definitely be of some interest to others, including myself. But even if you don't, I think you should just write shit down anyways
I don't think it's being melodramatic at all. Felt the lot of the same shit you've felt. I never took meds, but they absolutely devastated my family in ways that I didn't see the worth in taking them.
I don't know what your social circumstances are, but I hope you can find a good friend or two in life to just share experience and shoot the shit with. It's the only thing that keeps me going, and my friends are understanding of my situation, even through the highs and lows. It's really the only form of therapy I feel that works for me. Outside of that, I don't know if there are any 'real' solutions to this. Being stuck in this capitalist garbage heap makes it worse, and all you can do really is just maintain day to day. Some just slip and fall. When a family member of mine ended up going insane after a divorce, I was seriously considering suicide. Took some social interaction to climb out of that hole.
Honestly I hope your heart and mind settle down dawg. I really mean that shit. I don't know how or in what way, but I hope it does. I've had it bad, but I know others always have it worse. You have seizures and shit - I never experienced that, but I know people that have and I know how hard it is just to hold employment. If you ever feel the need to talk more, I'm always down.
Hey, thank you for your compassionate response. Yes, medication even when necessary and prescribed can be a double edged sword.
As for the importance (necessity, even) of having a good friend or two in life, oh man do I agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately I really don't have that. Due to a combination of shame at my circumstances and extreme social anxiety, I've been pretty much friendless and isolated for years. I actually attribute a lot of my issues, including a good amount of the mental decline we've been talking about, to all that solitude. I sometimes think important parts of my brain responsible for socializing have atrophied, maybe literally. I've been considering for a while making a detailed post about it in c/mentalhealth, but never know where to start or what good it would ultimately do. I'm very glad to hear you have a good irl support network and that it has helped you as much as it has, especially out of a truly dark time. I agree that just having friendly people to be around is vastly more beneficial than even professional therapy - not that that can't be a big help to some people too. (Also, condolences about your family member.)
And just to be clear, I don't have seizures anymore. That was just something that happened when I was going through benzodiazepine withdrawal. However, I am still coping with the long term effects that those seizures and other aspects of the withdrawal had on me. But again, I don't know how much of my current fucked up state is due to that specifically or to... well, everything else. I know the peripheral neuropathy is from that for sure. Because we were talking about environmental toxin exposure, in your case lead, one thing that might be causing a lot of my issues, both physical and mental, could be mold toxin exposure. My psychiatrist (who I only get to have a phone consult with for 45 minutes once every 3 months) first suggested it and is confident that it's playing a role. If so, I'm stuck with it. But I don't want to ramble on too long about my personal woes, especially when like you said, so many others have things so so much worse. Not that it's ever a competition though - suffering sucks, period.
Thanks again for the kind message comrade. :heart-sickle:
I think you should definitely make that post. Take your time with it. I'm sure you're aware of how many people are affected by harmful substances in their living environment. Many of them aren't even able to reflect on it in the way that you and I are able to. I think that perspective might definitely be of some interest to others, including myself. But even if you don't, I think you should just write shit down anyways