I could have stopped this but all of you made fun of me and now my wife might be dead. I can't tell if the smelling salts aren't working because she's dead or if she's acquired scent-tolerance from huffing too much candle.
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Me, with a coconut rice pudding candle burning an inch away from my face: SLAG OFF MATE, SHE'S RIDING THE WICK
911 just put me on call waiting after I mentioned my name and address.
Still on call waiting. It's been like 7 Grind songs. After the 10th one I'm hanging up and calling again.