I’m not saying what’s going on because I dead ass know what everyone is going to say and it’s just pointless anyways.
I’ve basically already given up but gone now is the pretense of wanting to try. No more plans to start transitioning again. No more rehab. No more exfoliating. No more wanting to learn how to make plushies. No more silly hopes and dreams. No more trying to dress nice and look cool. It’s all fucking gone.
It's okay to stop trying. You are allowed to rest. You deserve to rest.
If you have given up on hope that's understandable. I don't know your life or your circumstances but I know they are far from being something that anyone would call easy. If you want, there are some people here who can take on the task of carrying hope for you if it's too much for you to do yourself. In fact I know that there are people here who do this already.
It means a lot that you would reach out and tell us how you are feeling. People care about you. The world is better for you being in it.