This might be too specific, but I'm 25 and just moved to a new city, reconnected with a few old friends, and it is extremely awkward being around them as a "fifth wheel" (they both have long-term gfs) and it feels like I'm just killing the vibe of the double dates as a single man
Anyone else ever find themselves in a similar situation? It sucks
Imo, you're really just kinda boned if you have no way to establish a sense of community later in life (in the United States at least). I lost my religious faith in high school and really wish I wouldn't have.
It’s easy to believe you found your “one and only “ in high school because you’re young and forced to spend all this time around your peers. It only feels harder as an adult because you don’t have the same sort of controlled environment that forces you to engage and collaborate with people in the same way (I’d say work, but not all work environments support casual socializing)
The key to making close friends is to BE a close friend. As in, already behave and act as though your comfortable and ready to have an intimate friendship. Confidence and being willing to open up really go a long way. For me, reminding myself that we’re all aging and getting closer to a time where we could regret not letting go of our insecurities enough to be friends and have fun, is all it takes for me to ignore the parts of me that don’t want to take initiative and want to be a bit more meek and withdrawn.
As for new people, you either have to get chummy with strangers as you go about your day and eventually become friends, or put yourself in another environment that forces you to be near people and do the same. Adult sports, volunteer work, look up Meetups in you area etc.