• Shoegazer [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    I-I-is that a w-w-woman on my hexbear?!?! :awooga:

    jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely.

    • NomadicWarMachine [any]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      woman hits man in the head with cast iron skillet, an indentation in the perfect shape of his head appears on the pan, then she pulls a rope and a safe falls from the sky and lands on him. The door to the safe opens revealing the man inside who is swaying back and forth and forth with birds circling his head, and then proceeds to hold out a small flag that says "ouch" on it.

        • NomadicWarMachine [any]
          hexagon
          ·
          3 years ago

          Woman offers me a cigar and lites it, but it turns out to be a stick of dynamite, I look at the camera and wave goodbye before it explodes, covering my face in soot.

          Later in an attempt as revenge I paint a tunnel on a wall where the woman goes jogging, but instead of running into it she runs down the tunnel safely. I decided to run down the tunnel myself but discover that it has somehow transformed back into a wall and become a flat pancake against it.