Honestly I don't meet the Yanks all that much regularly. I have a couple friends who I see semi frequently, and they're obviously ok. The Americans here at Hexbear are super cool. Since Covid lockdowns are breaking, I've been seeing more of them randomly. And in the conversations with them, I'm seeing a lot of mean-ish comments along the lines of "haha, you did something I'm not used to".
For example, in the past month, I've gotten called out for:
- asking a guy at a literal commie beer event if he was a "comrade"
- using the metric system
- moving away from a boring conversation topic by asking a person what their job is, without a good convo transition
- saying colonisation changed African countries
- saying conservatives care more about aesthetics
- joking that I pray to Lenin every morning (thank you lib for pointing out that this isn't what socialism is)
Honestly sarcasm is good and fine with friends. Like, if the love is clearly there, then ya tease me a bit. Dunno, but it feels like these people treat conversations as a competitive sport. Oh ya, these people are all massive libs as well.
This is hard for me to answer since I'm American myself, but I've had at least some exposure to folks from other cultures. And I try to be a sort of armchair sociologist. But take what I say with a grain of salt:
The snarkiness is mainly limited to online spaces and as someone else pointed out, between some masculine friendships in younger folks meant to hide real intimacy. Overall in person, Americans are very non-confrontational, cowardly, and superficial. There's this expectation for example, that everyone here should make conversational small talk and be generally pleasant. Bluntness and being forthright is frowned upon. If someone asks you "how are you?", you're expected to just say "I'm fine, how are you?" And the initial asker is expected to say "I'm fine". If you're not fine, you usually aren't supposed to say so as a response, not even to friends.
The confrontational thing, idk it feels a little harder to describe. I think you'd be surprised how much you can get away with in the US if you're willing to deal with disapproving looks and judgmental thoughts. I recently asked here about Americans' experiences not standing for the national anthem at sporting events. I was expecting a lot more "some dude yelled at me and threatened me until I stood up". But it was mostly just getting looks and people not saying anything, despite it almost certainly being noticed by everyone around and 99% thinking you must be some asshole who doesn't love America.
I think it relates to how capitalism alienates us from each other, breaks apart real communities, and prevents close relationships. And also the suburban lifestyle of giving every (white, middle class) person their own little fiefdom.
I substitute teach and some high schools play the anthem over the announcements. Recently had a class where nobody stood up except for the one white boy with American flag pins. I was so proud lol, and it was likely because the school was vast majority PoC.