community didn't create enough money, so people feel unconnected to the people and place around them. These means it's harder to walk up to strangers and just start talking to them. Most hobby spaces have moved online(where they can put adds on them and micro-target every one of them). Plus the expense of literally any activity has skyrocketed. Unless the park is in walking distance you're going through gas getting there and back, and that can run into money for some people. Plus everyone is overworked and exhausted, so if you aren't already a guaranteed good time(by this I mean you are already known and liked by the other person) it is not worth the emotional energy to get to know you and see if you're friend material or not.
Yep ever since I moved for my job I have completly given up on IRL social contacts.
Like I have none at all, but those few hours that I'm not exhausted on a weekend I'm not going to spend them in a bar hoping to strike a conversation. I'm in one of the most conservative regions in the country so organizing is almost impossible and I hate sports with a passion.
The same with dating. The social expectation around here is still that the first 20 steps must be initiated by the man. Running into a lot of rejection while putting all that effort in is at least for me much more unhealthy than just staying alone. Not that I would blame women like an incel, it just always puts me into a bad place. :what-the-hell:
it's actual effort to go out "cold calling" like that. People talk about it like it's supposed to be fun but it's worse than work sometimes. I really do feel much more comfortable just staying alone, it can actually feel peaceful occasionally which is rare these days I feel.
Dating is such a cringe annoying affair tbh. I really want more feminism so that dating isn't just the weird zone where patriarchal rules still apply. And dating apps are just so weird. I don't have time or money to go on a bunch of dates or try to screen out people who are just there for a hook-up.
community didn't create enough money, so people feel unconnected to the people and place around them. These means it's harder to walk up to strangers and just start talking to them. Most hobby spaces have moved online(where they can put adds on them and micro-target every one of them). Plus the expense of literally any activity has skyrocketed. Unless the park is in walking distance you're going through gas getting there and back, and that can run into money for some people. Plus everyone is overworked and exhausted, so if you aren't already a guaranteed good time(by this I mean you are already known and liked by the other person) it is not worth the emotional energy to get to know you and see if you're friend material or not.
Yep ever since I moved for my job I have completly given up on IRL social contacts. Like I have none at all, but those few hours that I'm not exhausted on a weekend I'm not going to spend them in a bar hoping to strike a conversation. I'm in one of the most conservative regions in the country so organizing is almost impossible and I hate sports with a passion.
The same with dating. The social expectation around here is still that the first 20 steps must be initiated by the man. Running into a lot of rejection while putting all that effort in is at least for me much more unhealthy than just staying alone. Not that I would blame women like an incel, it just always puts me into a bad place. :what-the-hell:
it's actual effort to go out "cold calling" like that. People talk about it like it's supposed to be fun but it's worse than work sometimes. I really do feel much more comfortable just staying alone, it can actually feel peaceful occasionally which is rare these days I feel.
Dating is such a cringe annoying affair tbh. I really want more feminism so that dating isn't just the weird zone where patriarchal rules still apply. And dating apps are just so weird. I don't have time or money to go on a bunch of dates or try to screen out people who are just there for a hook-up.