• Sea_Gull [they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Tell me you've never been misgendered without telling me you've never been misgendered.

    • Dingdangdog [he/him,comrade/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      I'm not trans, but I think a lot of people have had the experience of being misgendered, at least a mild form of it, at some point around puberty.

      Like I remember multiple people thinking I was a girl, on the phone getting called ma'am, even in photos or in person because I had longish hair.

      It sucked every time, absolutely made me feel terrible about myself.

      So I take that experience and imagine how much worse it would be if my actual body was the one misgendering me and blammo! empathy.

      But like I said at the beginning, I'm pretty damn sure this happens to almost every kid at some point. I don't get why it's such a hard concept for people to wrap their heads around then.

      • Sea_Gull [they/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        They were probably one of the kids who did do that misgendering bullying.

        • Dingdangdog [he/him,comrade/them]
          ·
          3 years ago

          I mean more like talking to someone before your voice drops and people not being able to tell easily, not specifically targeted bullying

      • DinosaurThussy [they/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        I personally believe that cis people have a baked in concept of gender fluidity that they associate with gender trauma. Being socialized into patriarchal gender involves a lot of being told that you are a deviation from the platonic ideal of your assigned gender. So you will be punished with androgyny or have your Proper Gender status revoked from you if you don’t meet certain expectations. People understand, even if they don’t agree, that there is an ideal man and an ideal woman, and that when people point out the ways that you deviate from those ideals they are being mean.

        Trans people threaten the idea that gender can be a universally agreed upon ideal which is determined immutably at birth and is easily signaled to others for the sake of signaling conformity. And a lot of cis people haven’t attempted gender nonconformity since before they could write a full sentence, so they have processed none of that patriarchal conditioning in decades.

        I don’t wanna write off all transphobia as a trauma response because that’s a cop out on many levels as well as inaccurate for many people. My point is that cis people understand gender deviation. They just understand to be bad and couldn’t articulate a historical reason for all the pain that taught them that