Based on watching leftist men for a while now, seeing posts from other women, and reading a few libcom posts about sexual abuse in leftist spaces: when you aim directly at the patriarchy, many men think "I'm not part of the patriarchy" and turn brain off. Like everyone here loved dunking on Jordan Peterson for hating plus size models for 2 weeks but if we even suggest that guys here might possibly have issues the levels of buttmad go off the charts immediately.
Like yeah, the patriarchy is the problem, obviously, but everyone is the patriarchy. And when these sorts of reactions happen it feels like people are going "yeah, everyone but me."
It costs $0 to ignore the post and let it drop off the end of the TL. Happened with her last vent post that got 16 upvotes and 0 comments. My posts drop off the front page all the time. The algorithm this sites runs on is designed to put the spotlight on frequently commented posts and people don't maintain an awareness of how their behavior affects that.
I only upvote posts I want to get higher and frequently do shitposty comments on things I want to have more visibility but don't have the expertise or will to go in depth on.
lmfao maybe people should learn to read the other comments in the thread then, sorry that im pissed and wanted people to actually vent with and didnt come up with a focus grouped title that would please the men of this site who say shit like 'nuke america' all the time
guess i'll just say 'nuke men' next time this invariably happens to me :xi-plz:
My issue with this sort of thing is that it's all about spectacle. Girls/fembies/etc. on here who vent are looking for others to commiserate with. Men or people who identify with them see the title and then inflate the spectacle instead of allowing it to be a small vent thread that drops off the TL. Similarly, posts about sexism in non-leftists explode in popularity with dunks of "I'm glad I'm not like that."
But when people try to post constructive helpful threads for working through stuff it gets 6-16 replies and 24 upvotes at best. Men want to complain about the patriarchy in other men but working on themselves is not a focus. Hell, I'm still working on myself and my post history shows that I'm trying to share the results of that with others. I can't be everywhere all at once but I feel like I am at least trying to practice what I preach.
I don't think you're a bad person, Melty. I mean, I guess you wouldn't know cause the one time we interacted I just gave you some advice on a fightstick, lol. I'm fully on board that wrangling users is a pain and a half, been there.
I'm just kind of frustrated with this place on a technical level. It always feels like you're fighting the software in a way I generally don't have to on vanilla. Even just having user-level blocks would be gamechanging. Putting the default view back on subscriptions would help avoid cross-contamination issues and make special interest comms more visible (and whoever put the view-change button behind the cogwheel on mobile, just, ugh). A lot of the aesthetic changes to this place put all the focus on the main TL and make exploring comms a huge pain, so people spend 99% of their energy on the front page of the site rather than clicking the convenient comm links that Lemmy has sitting right in the sidebar, always visible. I think it kind of homogenizes things.
No, I specifically asked for it not to be and honestly got really angry when they did it without asking me my opinion and then following it up with calling me reactionary over something that wasn't reactionary in the slightest
Like yeah, I am distraught, but I'm gonna be distraught for the next couple of days anyways and while I can vent to my bf and hes awesome for it I like to talk to other (anonymous) people with similar experiences
Based on watching leftist men for a while now, seeing posts from other women, and reading a few libcom posts about sexual abuse in leftist spaces: when you aim directly at the patriarchy, many men think "I'm not part of the patriarchy" and turn brain off. Like everyone here loved dunking on Jordan Peterson for hating plus size models for 2 weeks but if we even suggest that guys here might possibly have issues the levels of buttmad go off the charts immediately.
Like yeah, the patriarchy is the problem, obviously, but everyone is the patriarchy. And when these sorts of reactions happen it feels like people are going "yeah, everyone but me."
deleted by creator
It costs $0 to ignore the post and let it drop off the end of the TL. Happened with her last vent post that got 16 upvotes and 0 comments. My posts drop off the front page all the time. The algorithm this sites runs on is designed to put the spotlight on frequently commented posts and people don't maintain an awareness of how their behavior affects that.
I only upvote posts I want to get higher and frequently do shitposty comments on things I want to have more visibility but don't have the expertise or will to go in depth on.
lmfao maybe people should learn to read the other comments in the thread then, sorry that im pissed and wanted people to actually vent with and didnt come up with a focus grouped title that would please the men of this site who say shit like 'nuke america' all the time
guess i'll just say 'nuke men' next time this invariably happens to me :xi-plz:
:this:
deleted by creator
My issue with this sort of thing is that it's all about spectacle. Girls/fembies/etc. on here who vent are looking for others to commiserate with. Men or people who identify with them see the title and then inflate the spectacle instead of allowing it to be a small vent thread that drops off the TL. Similarly, posts about sexism in non-leftists explode in popularity with dunks of "I'm glad I'm not like that."
But when people try to post constructive helpful threads for working through stuff it gets 6-16 replies and 24 upvotes at best. Men want to complain about the patriarchy in other men but working on themselves is not a focus. Hell, I'm still working on myself and my post history shows that I'm trying to share the results of that with others. I can't be everywhere all at once but I feel like I am at least trying to practice what I preach.
deleted by creator
I can pass that feedback to the mod team, but I'm not an admin/sitemod (or mod of this comm). I also don't have any negativity towards you
deleted by creator
I don't think you're a bad person, Melty. I mean, I guess you wouldn't know cause the one time we interacted I just gave you some advice on a fightstick, lol. I'm fully on board that wrangling users is a pain and a half, been there.
I'm just kind of frustrated with this place on a technical level. It always feels like you're fighting the software in a way I generally don't have to on vanilla. Even just having user-level blocks would be gamechanging. Putting the default view back on subscriptions would help avoid cross-contamination issues and make special interest comms more visible (and whoever put the view-change button behind the cogwheel on mobile, just, ugh). A lot of the aesthetic changes to this place put all the focus on the main TL and make exploring comms a huge pain, so people spend 99% of their energy on the front page of the site rather than clicking the convenient comm links that Lemmy has sitting right in the sidebar, always visible. I think it kind of homogenizes things.
deleted by creator
No, I specifically asked for it not to be and honestly got really angry when they did it without asking me my opinion and then following it up with calling me reactionary over something that wasn't reactionary in the slightest
Like yeah, I am distraught, but I'm gonna be distraught for the next couple of days anyways and while I can vent to my bf and hes awesome for it I like to talk to other (anonymous) people with similar experiences
deleted by creator
i literally typed numerous nuanced comments after all the men got angry :think-mark:
which is honestly impressive since ive been ptsd flair up'd for like 3 days straight now cause of the grocery store thing
deleted by creator
because otherwise youre harassing someone for no fucking reason lmfao
deleted by creator