• AcidSmiley [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    So, i tried to make cucumber sandwiches with these for our jubilee picknick and what can i say, good chaps, it was quite the desaster. I thought i wouldn't have to adjust the recipe, under the sadly mistaken assumption that the cucumbers would make up for any spicyness of the majo - i always go out of my way to ask for mild cucumbers at the grocer just to make sure he's not one of those devious Poles trying to sneak their devilish peppered pickles into our groceries (Brexit means Brexit, but you never know if there aren't leftover slavs crawling out of the wooodwork, right? They're almost as pernicious as these perfidious transgenders! They could be everywhere!). So i just went with the usual procedure and after some arduous, time-consuming and highly complex work in the kitchen, my servants had crafted a whicker basket full of perfectly hwhite cucumber sandwiches (rindless, of course, as it behaves) which we set about to consume during the trooping of the colours with a dear friend of the family, our beloved Sir Nigel Piss. To everyone's dismay, the accursed majo burned so hot we were immediately reminded of that one horrible time when Sir Nigel had, on a dare, used curry ketchup on his chips instead of the usual vinegar. My husband started to retch immediately and poor little Pippa even began to cry from the pain. We ended up calling an ambulance to make sure there were no serious medical complications. Haven't felt this upset since we've lost our family's opium plantation in Uttar Pradesh. I am contemplating to write a stern letter to the BBC so they investigate if Jeremy Corbin and his gang of antisemitic tankies aren't behind this. 0/5 crowns, utmost caution is advised.

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      That one horrible time when Sir Nigel had, on a dare, used curry ketchup on his chips instead of the usual vinegar.

      Ghastly.