I dunno, this makes sense to me. Like I love my cat and I tell her that it's because she is the cutest and softest and most wonderful cat in the world. But the truth is that if she wasn't soft and cute and nice anymore I would love her just as much. Even the people in this world that have hurt me the most deeply, the people I've cut off, there's still a little part of me that loves them. Love is irrational.
I guess you could be a sociopath, but it doesn't really sound like it to me. You could just be overthinking this due to being a bit out of touch with your deeper feelings. I was like that for years when I was seriously depressed - my emotions were numbed, and I thought something was wrong with me for not feeling things the way others seemed to. All my relationships were held internally at arms-length, but I didn't understand why. Like a glass wall between me and the world.
I don't know. When I cut people off it's very absolute for me as well. I don't have any doubts about letting them back into my life and no urges at all to stay in touch. It's just that in the quiet lonesome moments, when I have the courage to hold it, when there's no one else to be accountable to, I still feel the sadness. And sadness is just another face of love.
I dunno, this makes sense to me. Like I love my cat and I tell her that it's because she is the cutest and softest and most wonderful cat in the world. But the truth is that if she wasn't soft and cute and nice anymore I would love her just as much. Even the people in this world that have hurt me the most deeply, the people I've cut off, there's still a little part of me that loves them. Love is irrational.
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I guess you could be a sociopath, but it doesn't really sound like it to me. You could just be overthinking this due to being a bit out of touch with your deeper feelings. I was like that for years when I was seriously depressed - my emotions were numbed, and I thought something was wrong with me for not feeling things the way others seemed to. All my relationships were held internally at arms-length, but I didn't understand why. Like a glass wall between me and the world.
I don't know. When I cut people off it's very absolute for me as well. I don't have any doubts about letting them back into my life and no urges at all to stay in touch. It's just that in the quiet lonesome moments, when I have the courage to hold it, when there's no one else to be accountable to, I still feel the sadness. And sadness is just another face of love.