I also never seem to be able to avoid messing things up when I'm in public, and I feel like I can't just be normal around people. I'd say that I can't in part because of ASD; but really mainly it's because I want (I believe that I need) people to like me, & to be able to feel that people still value & even love me for who I'm able to be.
I'm no good at anything though, and nothing ever works out, and my body keeps getting fucked up every time I try to reach past my present limitations (currently my kneecap is broke, cause I fell on the stairs at work). So I feel like I got nothing I can do anymore but sit at home & play videogames in the dark.
I wish I could say something helpful but I'm really just having the same sort of shitty feelings today. I've been consistently having miscommunications with my one friend and it's making me feel like I'm fundamentally socially defective and that I should just hide myself away from humanity. Like at a certain point I should just be like, well, the world clearly doesn't want me here, so I guess I'll show myself out. Right? It feels ridiculous and pathetic that I keep inflicting myself on people looking for someone to give a shit about me. And my body is fucked up too, so yeah, video games in the dark. Sorry about your kneecap, that sounds awful to break. You're not alone in this - but I wish I could make us both feel better.
:meow-hug:
I'm sorry that you & your friend are having trouble. I hope that you two can find a way to work things out.
Thank you ❤️ I think we will, we've been friends for a while, but things have just been so rocky lately. It's frustrating because I just never seem to catch what I'm doing or saying wrong until it's too late and she comes to me a week later to talk about it.