• comment the best quotes you find on hexbear.net
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Jacking off into a supersoaker is basically the bolshevik revolution

Stalin is short for Stalin the Hedgehog

The North American Gringo has been rendered useless.

“Chicks hold up half of this bitching party” - Rave Mao @jabrd

Dante illustrated hell but he could not contemplate suburbia @Frank

All the “Hunter ‘Big Dick’ Biden Ukraine” stuff right before the election was kind of a chekhov’s gun, from a literary analysis of the 2020 election @StellarTabi

i have bifurcated my life now. Post-horny screed and pre-horny screed. Now is the time of the struggle against the old. Will I win? @LoudMuffin

I do self-criticism constantly because I’m trapped in a Maoist cult where comrades (white terrorists) criticize me mercilessly for having a fascist credit card (VISA Silver Signature Rewards)
They won’t let me order vegan pizza anymore because the phone is fascist and “summoning my pizza slaves with a bourgeois app" is “bad vibes”

Like king Midas dying of starvation, you too would start to curse the heavens when everything you touched turned into Reddit gold

“Artefact infused with the souls of demons manifests ‘hell on earth beyond our worst nightmares’ says College of Thaumaturgists”

Hek what? Ah, Hekshabear. Yesh ok, zhe Moskow time, big poop bear ballsh and so on. Pure ideology. Burn to zhe ground. But I like how zhey hav zhis, how do you shay, “tag linesh,” on zhe top of zhe page. “We’re in fuckin 1320 motherfucker” one of zhem saysh. Zhish is absolutely tru, zhe peasant from zhe Alzache who forgeth zhe Belden plan. …

Hunter Biden is truly the Faramir of US politics
“A chance for Hunter, Captain of Large Sons, to show his quality…”

‘I wonder why we had such a hard time appealing to the working classes,’ I ponder as I pour another glass from a $30 bottle of wine I bought for lunch. ‘It must be because they’re stupid racist dum dums.’ I conclude as I carve into a loaf of artisan bread that cost as much as most people spend on a meal for a family of 4 and that I’ll leave half of to go stale.

“Here’s the deal folks, we did 9/11! Well not we. Bush did 9/11. I didn’t have anything to do with it. I was against it. If I was in office there’d be no 9/11, I’ll tell you that. I thought it was pretty bad, what they did to our beautiful country, what Bush and the Democrats like Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi did. I wouldn’t do that, I own New York real estate. My property value went down! WAY DOWN! I’d never do a 9/11.”

Probably something wrong with dryjacking while making eye contact with your parents though

There’s no bread, so you might as well enjoy the circus.

The screams of apes have been edited out.

pedantic guy who gets mad at ‘himbo’ since ‘bimbo’ is already masculine in italian

“Saturn Devouring His Son after finding out he had spent Saturn’s life savings on Dogecoin”