so, because you can't imagine how a couple can maintain separate finances except in one single common pot, it's impossible...? despite others in here saying they do it?

the logistics are simple: party A has their account, party B has their account, and there exists a joint A-B account. mutual bills are paid through the joint account. mutual goals are saved for in joint savings accounts. individual goals are saved for in personal accounts. surprises/gifts, miscellany/discretionary spending come from personal accounts. couples with unequal income can arrange whatever distribution and management responsibility through automatic direct deposits and create individual/shared budgets with total transparency, or they can just hash out shared expenses / proportional responsibility for them and keep the rest to themselves.

nothing i am talking about is an outlier. financial troubles are consistently in the top 5 reasons for dissolution of marriage and even among those that remain together, financial troubles are a consistent source of unhappiness. while there are structural causes of this, humans do get manipulated into surrendering independence in abusive relationships. impulse control disorders are real and can manifest suddenly. these are things that happen every day to people.

you're the one insisting that all other couples keeping personal accounts makes those relationships "a farce". yours is the extreme position here. and, FYI, your complete inability to recognize other, common household financial arrangements as being part of a healthy, committed romantic relationship among equal partners while lashing out at everyone with rude dismissals and personal attacks is saying something about you.

anyway, i'm done. good luck or whatever.