I take covid seriously so I don't want to go to a bar, and even if I took it less seriously I wouldn't want to date the kind of person who spends their time at a bar fielding romantic inquiries during a pandemic. I've tried dating apps and have not had any good experiences to speak of. I unfortunately have to work but I assure you that during a shift of hard manual labor in sometimes over 100 degree conditions and extremely high humidity, the last thing I'm thinking about is whether that guy who is literally soaked head to toe in sweat, dirt, miscellaneous grease, and potentially hazardous chemicals is cute.
How does this even work? The last time I was around people I could just freely interact with and try my luck I was in my first year of high school, when I had a crush on a girl 3 years older than me which was a prospect so doomed to fail that even I knew better than to pursue it.
Seems like the question is essentially what social groups you could become involved in while still respecting Covid boundaries
I have not figured that out yet, please share if you do. I'm a bit of a nomad and the only thing I've really come up with is that if I'm going to meet up with romantic friends that I'll need the mask off for, I'm going to be asking that we both take tests beforehand.
Any chance there are outdoor events near you the occur regularly? Farmers’ markets maybe?
i don't really advocate following my example because the boundaries between my professional life and my personal life have been permeable sometimes and it has resulted in some messy situations... but my best friends i've made have been through work / through people from work. this was especially true when i was in an outdoor manual labor type job that was sort of a sun-up to sun-down type of deal, because all the desk/regular/office type job havers would want to hang out at night, which is when i would be falling asleep in a chair. also, all of us made peanuts, so we were all very satisfied with sharing cheap beers and weed around a fire pit.
it was like an environmental type of gig, so generally speaking people were at least do-gooders. and we didn't all work in the exact same place, some worked for competing firms or in different areas, so there was always "get a load of this shit" type of hot goss by the end of the week. i love some hot goss.
i still keep in touch with people i used to work with/around from upwards of 15 years ago, though not regularly because we live in different states/regions and even different continents now. it's kinda tight when i want to travel, because there are couches.
but, more to the issue of the COVID world... i got no idea how this shit is supposed to work now. i'm not going to no bars or whatever anymore. i used to make it a point to go to like advocacy org potlucks and other such things even though it would be a pain sometimes, and i always did a "friendsgiving" thing with some people near the state university that would host all the solo grad students from out of state for a potluck. all that shit has stopped though. people feel scattered to the wind like a hurricane came through. my social circle has gotten tiny in the last 2 years.
not to sound weird or cryptic, but i think something is fundamentally changed for me, socially. like maybe it's time to move somewhere else and start over again, socially. like a whole new place. not just for political reasons, though that's obviously part of it. it's something more instinctual, like i'm at a crossroads in my life where i have one last opportunity to make a big change. last time i felt this way, i went for it and while it took a ton of mental/emotional energy, it was the smartest thing i ever did. and if i do it, i'm going to take lots of the advice you see in here. join a casual sports community (kickball league would be ideal), join some kind of local community give-a-shit type org, maybe do some adult education (a new language!). joining an org doesn't have to be like the One True Leftist Org (MLMaoist-Third World). it could be like really milquetoast stuff, like a group that takes walks and picks up litter / does community beautification. i would absolutely find work i give a shit about, even if it meant less pay.
i made a big jump away from what i knew in my late 20s, and it reset the clock on my life and i made a shitload of good friends fairly quickly. there's something appealing about a newcomer who shows up, is generally friendly, and who gives a shit to listen and learn about local issues. i've moved to places with reputations for being very closed off and found them very welcoming.
i'm over 40 now, and i think i have enough gas in the tank to do it again and have a very enriching 3rd act for my life if i put my mind and heart into it.
anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏God damn I'm in my late 20s on the verge of making that jump, again, in a spot just like you. Things just get stale after a few years, and it seems almost easier to restart than to refresh. Glad to know I'm not alone in that, and glad it's worked out for you.
I meet people off hinge and bumble but I'm also a floozy sooooo
It's a lot of screening till you find anyone decent tbh, but I feel like it saves time
outdoor sports, cycling/jogging/hiking clubs, outdoor yoga, animal rescues, socialist reading groups
I'd like to join a volunteer org but in my area that task actually becomes create a volunteer org which ... I work 50 hours of manual labor a week and I know some people manage that and also do other things but that just doesn't work for me.
On a side note, one of my coworkers has two other fucking jobs. I've asked him when he sleeps before. He did not have a straight answer for me. Granted he spends significantly less time at this job than I do, but I still can't imagine.
I have not found lefty orgs to be a good place to find friends. Granted they're good for finding leftists, and I just can't be friends with anyone outside of explicit leftists these days (lots of weird transphobes and racists around here)
Leftist orgs are often full of weird interpersonal petty drama that can quickly sour the org itself. Also just having politics in common with someone doesn't always mean they have other stuff in common. There are a lot of good comrades out there though.
Don't do relationships in lefty orgs. A local org near me broke up because of a relationship dispute.
I don't know if it is helpful, but I just moved to a new place and joined a running club. Outdoor activities seems to be a good way to meet people while reducing COVID risks.
straight people always say apps bad, but as a gay that is basically my only reliable option. met my current gf on tinder, went for a walk on the first date
