i don't really advocate following my example because the boundaries between my professional life and my personal life have been permeable sometimes and it has resulted in some messy situations... but my best friends i've made have been through work / through people from work. this was especially true when i was in an outdoor manual labor type job that was sort of a sun-up to sun-down type of deal, because all the desk/regular/office type job havers would want to hang out at night, which is when i would be falling asleep in a chair. also, all of us made peanuts, so we were all very satisfied with sharing cheap beers and weed around a fire pit.

it was like an environmental type of gig, so generally speaking people were at least do-gooders. and we didn't all work in the exact same place, some worked for competing firms or in different areas, so there was always "get a load of this shit" type of hot goss by the end of the week. i love some hot goss.

i still keep in touch with people i used to work with/around from upwards of 15 years ago, though not regularly because we live in different states/regions and even different continents now. it's kinda tight when i want to travel, because there are couches.

but, more to the issue of the COVID world... i got no idea how this shit is supposed to work now. i'm not going to no bars or whatever anymore. i used to make it a point to go to like advocacy org potlucks and other such things even though it would be a pain sometimes, and i always did a "friendsgiving" thing with some people near the state university that would host all the solo grad students from out of state for a potluck. all that shit has stopped though. people feel scattered to the wind like a hurricane came through. my social circle has gotten tiny in the last 2 years.

not to sound weird or cryptic, but i think something is fundamentally changed for me, socially. like maybe it's time to move somewhere else and start over again, socially. like a whole new place. not just for political reasons, though that's obviously part of it. it's something more instinctual, like i'm at a crossroads in my life where i have one last opportunity to make a big change. last time i felt this way, i went for it and while it took a ton of mental/emotional energy, it was the smartest thing i ever did. and if i do it, i'm going to take lots of the advice you see in here. join a casual sports community (kickball league would be ideal), join some kind of local community give-a-shit type org, maybe do some adult education (a new language!). joining an org doesn't have to be like the One True Leftist Org (MLMaoist-Third World). it could be like really milquetoast stuff, like a group that takes walks and picks up litter / does community beautification. i would absolutely find work i give a shit about, even if it meant less pay.

i made a big jump away from what i knew in my late 20s, and it reset the clock on my life and i made a shitload of good friends fairly quickly. there's something appealing about a newcomer who shows up, is generally friendly, and who gives a shit to listen and learn about local issues. i've moved to places with reputations for being very closed off and found them very welcoming.

i'm over 40 now, and i think i have enough gas in the tank to do it again and have a very enriching 3rd act for my life if i put my mind and heart into it.

anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏