Yeah, liberal feminism in general relies on the demonization of masculinity as inherently patriarchal, which is extremely alienating to trans men and other AFAB masculine people in particular, as well as anti-patriarchal men in general.

While it’s true that most benefit from patriarchy, it’s in the sense that they’ve learned how to minimize the abuse of other patriarchal men: by remaining stoic and avoiding femininity at all costs. It’s portrayed as dominance because the most dominant men act the same way, but for the vast majority of men it’s a pretty miserable position which makes them easy to manipulate and keep in line.

So much of undoing patriarchal programming for me has just been to not give a shit about how I might be judged for so many things in my life. I would instinctually recoil back and then realize upon further inspection that the thing I was avoiding doing wasn’t harmful in any way. And it’s put me in touch with aspects of my masculinity that I’ve never had a conscious relationship with. Things which are traditionally considered feminine are part of my masculinity because the act of refusing to ground my identity in othering people is part of the masculine ideal I strive towards