My partner and I had very different upbringings and are reaching the age and level of stability where we want to take our kids places sometimes when they have breaks from school. But we’re having trouble agreeing on things to do and I’d like some novel ideas.

I grew up in a rural suburbia. I have half a dozen adopted siblings, all at least 5 years younger than me. The neighborhood was nothing but retired people and us, which meant we were the only kids on the street. So I ended up in more of a babysitter role than a sibling role a lot of the time. And my parents took us on vacations to amusement parks and even a cruise once, but they worked themselves to the bone to do so and we rarely saw them. When they did have free time at home they turned on the TV and veg’ed out because they were exhausted. And even then, I was poorer than most of my friends, but in the kind of way where their parents spoiled them with the latest video game shit and always gave them money to go to the movies and mine didn’t. Overall, I had it very good. I was lonely, but taken care of.

My partner, on the other hand, was regularly food insecure or living without running water or electricity. They did not travel more than a couple times in their childhood and usually it was because other family was paying for stuff. But they went to the same school as me. So whatever shame I felt for not fitting the bougie standards, they had it significantly worse. They worked significantly harder than they should have had to to escape the poverty they were raised in and now they basically want a taste of middle class life. And sometimes I just hate it.

I feel so bad, but middle class life is such a facade of treats with no substance. Unless your family owns a business or some shit, it’s just sacrificing connection for spectacle because the alternative is sinking down into poverty traps. I’d be happy if I never went to another amusement park in my life. It’s all a fucking trap. They’re the same no matter where you are and they’re just tourist traps all around. I don’t have any concrete memories from them. I just have pictures and I know that I like the tilt-o-whirl and fried dough.

My partner wants to take the kids to Disney. I am literally repulsed by the idea. It would be a little tight, but we could afford it. But we just get so little time with our kids as-is, that I want our family time to be spent doing stuff constructive or engaging, not this hyper-capitalist spectacle. I would love to do site-seeing, but our kids are too young (both under 10).

If I can’t think of a good alternative, we’ll probably go to Disney and it’ll be what it is. I’m not gonna be grumpy the whole time about it and ruin it. But my partner is also open to other ideas for stuff to do. I just never did anything else, so it feels like I literally don’t know how to spend quality time with family. I’m also trying to be really conscientious about not dumping all this on my partner and making them feel bad about wanting to do fun stuff with the kids. Thoughts?