TW for suicide, and drugs.
Spare me the usual replies, please. I’ve heard them all.
I’m going to drop Creamsicle off at a friend’s house today.
“Yay!”
Then I’m probably going to acquire fentanyl somehow, and forget that I ever existed.
I’ve considered writing a letter to my friend, the one I’m always talking about. Creamsicle was originally supposed to be a birthday present for them, but they didn’t want him. I’d love for him to go live with them, but I don’t want them to be sad. I think I just want them to forget I ever existed. I know they probably won’t be too sad but I don’t know. I wish I could say goodbye.
Every single fucking day sucks. I am in the same exact hole today, on March 22nd, 2024, as I was on March 22nd, 2023, and on March 22nd, 2022. The only difference is I just keep getting slightly worse every year. Each winter hurts more than the last. More people stop talking to me and I smile less and life becomes increasingly more stupid and meaningless.
I've been debating what to say for a while. This is a sensitive topic, and I'm never entirely sure I've said the "right thing".
A number of people I've known have taken their own life, I've tried (and failed), and my SO has been put in the psych ward several times. Despite (or maybe because) of this, I'm not all that opposed to suicide. I'm not going to tell you not to, I'm not a huge fan of hearing that.
My go-to response is usually to firstly tell them that their method of suicide isn't very good (an extremely common occurrence), follow that up with advice on what to do instead (doing it like usual is definitely a bad idea here), and then ask that they sleep on it (Rash decisions are bad. I don't want to be the thing that pushed someone into attempting, just someone that stopped that attempt from being unpleasant).
So firstly, don't try to die by overdose. It's the most common kind of suicide attempt, and also the least successful. I understand that's how you died those previous times, but it really doesn't take much for it to go wrong. Secondly, maybe check out SaSu? You can set it so you only see the "recovery" section, a section which has helped quite a few people. No worries about institutionalization or police or being talked down to, just suicidal people talking to other suicidal people about not being suicidal. Thirdly, sleep on it (though I doubt it'll help).
Overdose is the one way that doesn’t scare me too much.
fair, i guess