What does it mean for workers to collectively own means of production? Am I supposed to own only the laboratory I work at or everything everywhere? What if I decide to change a place of employment? Why doesn't owning it though the intermediary of the state and your representative in the communist party qualify?
Yes it is Left Communism, the Marxists you meet who don’t believe there has ever been a single real socialist project. Some of them believe the Bolshevik revolution was legitimate but then corrupted (the more Trotskyist strains) while others believe even that was a bourgeois revolution and that there has never once been a real proletariat revolution.
If I honestly believed what these Left Communists believed, that a century of socialist struggle was all fake and there hasn’t even been a whimper of “real communism” after hundreds of attempts, I would simply stop being a communist because clearly it’s not possible