Whether it’s family or coworkers or whoever. I have such a hard time talking and just always feel anxious. There are very few people I feel comfortable around. :agony-deep:
For me a big part of learning to deal with this was to figure out why I felt anxious.
My own experience was that I felt anxious around new people because I didn't understand how to interact with them yet - like I hadn't picked up on their vibe yet, and that takes time and repeated exposure, and once I did I "warmed up" to them. But those initial interactions were stressful and I wanted to avoid that.
That might be what you're dealing with, and it might not, but it took a couple years to get to that point where I understood that and how to deal with it.
caring too much about what other people think while also having projections in your head of what they think and how they might react when really you're interacting with a version of them that only exists in your head and you shouldn't give no fucks if people think you're weird, they're probably just as weird, but unfortunately you can't really just logic away anxiety
I recommend you don't do hallucinogens trying to experience ego death, if you do try hallucinogens definitely don't do them alone, people talk about set and setting for a reason, have a trusted friend as a trip sitter, maybe try to plan out a few things ahead of time that might be interesting to do or look at while tripping, and just let the trip happen. I've always likened tripping to putting yourself through a psychic crucible where everything you've ever experienced gets melted down and blends together in a way that can give you new insights into the relationships between the seemingly unrelated as well as an outside perspective on your own thoughts and sense of being. I don't think I've ever experienced "ego death" but I have had trips where, for a while after, it was like I understood the universe better, but unfortunately the feeling went away (especially quickly with shrooms, although the experience felt more profound. I do think LSD was a more useful/better experience in feeling more at peace longer term, more in control of my thoughts, etc).
I don't think I want to trip again personally just because I've had so many bad experiences since then and so much more accumulated baggage that, since my last trip was an extremely terrifying bad trip, I'm too afraid to do it again. Which kinda sucks because I'd like to paint while on shrooms, but idk if I wanna risk it :/
If you get access to acid it might be worth testing it to make sure it's LSD, I think part of why my last trip was so bad is that it might not have been real LSD.
Also if you want to read something that can give good insight as to what tripping is like, I recommend Aldous Huxley's The Doors of Perception which was basically just him writing about doing mescaline under the supervision of his wife and a psychiatrist and he does a good job of describing what it's like, because it's really difficult to articulate as an experience to someone who's never tripped before. It's like trying to describe colors to someone who can't see, but I think he does it better than I could.
Certain groups of people are just hard to get on with depending upon your interests. I like my coworkers, but any group discussions with them quickly turn to golf, the minutiae of football stats, and quoting Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell movies, with the occasional “haha, pronouns amirite?”
You often have to pretend to be someone different depending on your audience to work in modern society and it's fucking exhausting; if you don't have people with which you can actually be yourself to interact with regularly enough it can quickly drive you mad. Or worse: making you start taking that shit seriously, losing yourself.
I think you need to just be who you are and if that is awkward or some sum of that and some other things- you need to in the moment just be like yeah this is me so what.
You cant be mr.charisma if u dont feel it, and only shooting yourself down for it only makes it worse so why do it
Work from where you are rather than where you think you should be
are you talking about being perceived by others as being awkward or feeling awkward/uncomfortable when talking to others?
if it's the former, you are probably not as awkward as you think you are but even if you are an extremely awkward person, so what? people are a lot more forgiving on slight social "transgressions" than we are to ourselves when we feel like we did a social interaction poorly.either way, the only way for it to get better is to keep doing it. as with any other skill you become better at being social by practicing it, by socializing. i know this might be an obvious or maybe unpleasant thing and it's not easy, but it's simple. i'm decently introverted and had debilitating social anxiety for a couple of years so i probably understand a bit of where you're coming from.
I just get depressed being around women
Sounds like a reddit post.
I just spill my spaghetti wherever I go. I can be cringy but I usually only realize it in hindsight.
Same. I have avoidant personality disorder. Maybe look into that
I have aspergers and that's pretty much what I go through. Are you possibly neurodivergent?
Basically since I was a teenager I felt like an alien pretending to be human when I'm in social situations. I was always worried I'd say something stupid so I usually just said nothing.
I think you should eat less poop for starters. It's known to trigger anxiety.
