The one quoted in the comment @disposable_cracker@hexbear.net found is even better. I didn't make it that far, this shit's unparseable for me.
I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing.
That is entirely too fucking many semi-colons that still props up the mother of all run-ons! Like, I know I'm guilty of semi-colon abuse sometimes; but this is beyond the fucking pale
She's using the corporate ladder metaphor to say that she wants to party and make babies without harming her career. It's confusing how she says she wants a ladder with a balcony but eh
Oh I get what she's getting at, worth also noting that it's so myopic it starts with a clear personal grievance. I don't think "entry-level jobs in their 30s" is even a top-50 goal for feminists wrt gender equity in the work place. The balcony thing is hamfisted too.
The problem is she wants this stilted style, a bunch of commas; maybe a semi-colon to make sure a list is split up in a way that lets you easily discern items. When if you really wanted to lean into the ladder vibe and write in a weird way it's clearly a spot for line breaks:
I dream of new structures:
a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s;
alternate avenues for promotion;
corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves,
before they keep climbing.
Yeah she could use an editor. But I've also known people who talk exactly like that so is it really bad writing if it perfectly captures the mind of the author, clunkiness and all?
lol that's an interesting lens. in this case yes because idgaf about the author's banal bourgeois rationalization of their conservatism, and the fact they captured it more authentically just heightens that disgust
what the fuck is that sentence?? this is beats the worst i have writen. its so bad, i could hardly beat that if i tried...
The one quoted in the comment @disposable_cracker@hexbear.net found is even better. I didn't make it that far, this shit's unparseable for me.
I dream of whole new sentences but here we are.
That is entirely too fucking many semi-colons that still props up the mother of all run-ons! Like, I know I'm guilty of semi-colon abuse sometimes; but this is beyond the fucking pale
this is so bad that it gives me motivation to actually write. Like i am so much better at writing then this person.
She's using the corporate ladder metaphor to say that she wants to party and make babies without harming her career. It's confusing how she says she wants a ladder with a balcony but eh
Oh I get what she's getting at, worth also noting that it's so myopic it starts with a clear personal grievance. I don't think "entry-level jobs in their 30s" is even a top-50 goal for feminists wrt gender equity in the work place. The balcony thing is hamfisted too.
The problem is she wants this stilted style, a bunch of commas; maybe a semi-colon to make sure a list is split up in a way that lets you easily discern items. When if you really wanted to lean into the ladder vibe and write in a weird way it's clearly a spot for line breaks:
Yeah she could use an editor. But I've also known people who talk exactly like that so is it really bad writing if it perfectly captures the mind of the author, clunkiness and all?
lol that's an interesting lens. in this case yes because idgaf about the author's banal bourgeois rationalization of their conservatism, and the fact they captured it more authentically just heightens that disgust