I’ve spent way too long trying to quantify/understand it, to be completely honest. As someone who has been working from home on and off for two years now, this shit sucks. I tried to wholeheartedly convince myself that I am a homebody who doesn’t require any social interaction lol what a foolish thought
Through my hours of rumination on this topic, I’ve also gleaned that I personally hate irl social interaction because I fucking suck at it, not because I don’t wish I could desperately fit in for once. Because when I’m in the comfort of friends who are like me, I’m on cloud nine. And I’m so much slower verbally than when writing/typing, feels as though people’s attention spans in this day and age are not in alignment with the way in which my brain works.
But yeah I really noticed it when I came to the realization that I could easily make a post about how I’m feeling about a situation with one of friends online, but I could ALSO text that friend and ask them directly. And that right there sums up the majority of my social problems. Because I know I could send the message to the friend, but the uncertainty, fear, doubt, and general sense of uncomfortability that await after I press send? Way too much. Those feelings don’t exist when posting online, and I’m not sure if it’s simply the anonymity.
I think I understand what you're talking about. I spent some time with close friends recently and it was a lot better than just texting or email.
I felt a level of catharsis greater when I talked about the things I'd written before to others.
The safety and acceptance is such a big deal for me that I use writing as a safe alternative to protect myself from being mocked, taken out of context, or misunderstood.
When I have that genuine sense of safety or that the people I'm with won't lie to me. That I'll be given the dignity of the benefit of the doubt is a huge load off my shoulders.
I can take off the mask.
Texting allows my words to be precise, but that is a barrier.
Have you ever written your feelings to a person who was with you in a room? Like on a small white board or something?
Imagine having a genuine sense of safety with anybody lol
It's more like I get that sense of safety and then there's a disconnect or I realize the person wasn't safe. Though I think there are people out there who are genuinely safe. It's just finding them irl.
I can't even find those people on internet what chance do I have finding em irl?
Hmm no I have not! Because I’ve never really had problems with speaking irl which is actually really interesting