I just need to vent a little bit and get some feedback from people outside of my friends and family. They love me unconditionally and I know they are never unwilling to listen, but I feel like a broken record lately and really can't find the motivation or make it better. I've really been feeling like an insufferable burden because of my pessimism and cynicism around this topic, so I figure why not unload it on some internet strangers and see what insight I can get from some like-minded people.
I work in big corpo and really really hate it on multiple levels. Everyone around me seems to either be blissfully ignorant or they have found a way to swallow their pride and just exist. I am having a lot of trouble doing that and it makes me feel like an unappreciative shithead. I'm in a good position, in a stable company with a lot of great perks and benefits, but I'm just not happy. I hate the industry, the culture, the work itself, but the people around me have been there for 10+ years, so there must be something I'm missing. Am I wrong for not being able to suck it up and cash my check?
Funny you should ask...
Yeah, this is definitely me (well, minus the work itself I guess; I enjoy programming well enough, although other parts of my job are awful). But:
This is also me (I have a fancy Certificate on my shelf saying I've worked at the company for 10 years, with a lovely glass brick next to it that has the company's logo engraved on it).
I don't know much about this company you work at, but being a sourpuss all the time runs the risk of getting yourself fired, or at least on the shortlist for layoffs if they happen. You can get away with being a grump if your work is good, though, especially if you can make yourself valuable enough that they don't want to lose you.
As for everyone else: the reality of the working world is, no matter how you feel about it, you gotta keep bringing home that cash, so you do what you have to do to make sure you can. I'd bet more of your coworkers feel like you do than you'd guess, but it's not exactly safe to express that where the boss can hear.
All of that said, I'm working on getting into graduate school pretty soon, because I feel like I'm letting my life slip past me, so keep in mind that it's worth exploring possibilities beyond your current circumstances.
PS: Thanks for making this post, it proved to be the impetus I needed to finish up an email to a potential grad school professor.
The work itself is only bad because of the systemic corporate issues plus some niche things specific to my company. It's hard to disclose the specifics without it alluding to the actual company, but there are a lot of politics and bureaucracy that extends beyond our company and into our parent company, so much is out of our control and its frustrating. That said, I work in a QA/UAT capacity which under normal circumstances would mean working closely with the software engineers. However, the department I'm part of is more business centered and my "operations" role is a bit abstracted from the actual technical departments which encompass the engineering teams. However, I'm also user facing in a support and escalation capacity, so I'm sure you can see how hard it is having to test and support the software built by people I'm not really in contact with.
The 10+ year employees around me see that, accept it, and are fine being complacent cogs in the inefficient machine.
I'm trying to hard not to be sourpuss about it all and finding the right coworkers that I can safely vent to without it coming back to hurt me.
I wish I had the will to continue education, but good luck to you, sir. Seriously, what you said about life slipping by and exploring options has been a common theme in the feedback I've gotten from my wife and you all.
Thanks for the input, you're welcome for giving you a little nudge towards your goal, and good luck.