I just need to vent a little bit and get some feedback from people outside of my friends and family. They love me unconditionally and I know they are never unwilling to listen, but I feel like a broken record lately and really can't find the motivation or make it better. I've really been feeling like an insufferable burden because of my pessimism and cynicism around this topic, so I figure why not unload it on some internet strangers and see what insight I can get from some like-minded people.
I work in big corpo and really really hate it on multiple levels. Everyone around me seems to either be blissfully ignorant or they have found a way to swallow their pride and just exist. I am having a lot of trouble doing that and it makes me feel like an unappreciative shithead. I'm in a good position, in a stable company with a lot of great perks and benefits, but I'm just not happy. I hate the industry, the culture, the work itself, but the people around me have been there for 10+ years, so there must be something I'm missing. Am I wrong for not being able to suck it up and cash my check?
Comparison is the thief of joy.
You were lucky enough to be born in a place, at a time, where the center of your existential dread isn’t your next meal, unreasonable enemies as neighbors, or artillery through your door, walls, and/or roof, but not feeling the state of happiness you perceive others to be in, due to your superficial anecdotal experience of them.
To answer your question, yess that makes you an asshole, the life you live day-to-day is someone’s heaven & someone else’s hellscape, simultaneously.
Every year we make it through the Taurid Meteor Stream as a species, without nuclear war poppin, is a blessing.
That's a very fair point... I definitely try to keep it in perspective and try not to be ignorant of my privilege; and to be honest with you keeping this is mind definitely helps. Knowing I'm in a very good place compared to most can't be taken for granted.
I assume most people are just better at swallowing their pride or don't really see that they're in the belly of the Beast. I've always hated every job that was ever for a large company. Everything always feels soulless and painted over with a veneer of platitudes.
It was definitely soulless in corporate accounting. Everything seemed pointless. Who really cares if I coded a payable for a few boxes of cleaning rags to "5502001 Shop Expense - Consumables" instead of "5502002 Shop Expense - Supplies"? I certainly didn't. But the controller did, that soulless drone.
Yeah, I feel like I’m too idealistic to exist in that environment. I see right through the veneer while everyone else stares at it talking about how lucky they are to see it. It’s soul sucking…
I think the move to a big company was a mistake for me and I’m realizing that now.
This is unfortunately not advice; maybe it’s an inspirational story.
I recently left a cushy job at a large, prestigious Burgerland tech corp. By great luck and a little foresight, my team and our manager were crusty, cynical fucks who didn’t drink the corporate Kool-Aid, and this company is known for its Kool-Aid. The work we did was exemplary by the company’s own standards, but we were there for the paycheck. We did our white collar work with a blue collar attitude. It’s career limiting, but then I was never going to take a management position and lose my
card.Nope you aren't wrong to hate your job ha. You may just be more aware of what is terrible about it than your coworkers or have a lower tolerance for putting up with bullshit or feeling like your time is being wasted.
Obviously when it comes to figuring out how to handle it there are options that are about strategies to make it more bearable and strategies for finding a different job. I'm not going to recommend any because you didn't ask and I don't want to burden you, just wanted to say that both are valid options based on what you determine is important and valuable to you. And coming here to tell us how much it sucks is 100% one of those options and we know working can suck and can commiserate with you.
You may just be more aware of what is terrible about it than your coworkers or have a lower tolerance for putting up with bullshit or feeling like your time is being wasted.
This is exactly it, I have a low tolerance for the bureaucracy and layers of middle management shit heels and I hate feeling like my time could be better spent. As stupid as it sounds, I start to wonder if they know they are paying me too much for the boring useless shit they have me doing, but damn the man.
Yeah, and it’s also a group of people who hold jobs and struggle with careers.
Also, much of my ideology and beliefs play a part in my disdain.
Am I wrong for not being able to suck it up and cash my check?
i think you are a swell guy
I walked out of my $65/hr corpo job back in October, it was a workplace that was dehumanizing, stressful, and dangerous. I do not regret it.
dehumanizing, stressful, and dangerous.
This sounds way worse than my situation and I'm glad you did what was in your best interest at the end of the day.
It was more so dangerous to clients/customers due to an unrealistic amount of work expected to be done by a skeleton crew. Wasn't dangerous to us but I could no longer ethically work there.
Nope, you're not wrong. Corporate life is miserable, that's why Mike Judge keeps satirizing it with office space and the office. The people who are good at sucking it up and moving forward tend to stay longer and move up the ladder, making it more miserable for the rest of us. I use any opportunity I get to complain to my coworkers, it relieves stress and I learn a lot of others feel exactly the same. You're not alone and not missing anything, it's all ass.
Mike Judges content really isn't as hyperbolic as it first seems. In fact it's kind of selling the real thing a bit short. haha
Yeah before I got a job the office and office space were comedies, now they're almost like thrillers because it's so accurate.
No you’re not an asshole. I stomached that sort of thing for about 5 years. My future is less fiscally certain, but I left the corpo life about a year ago and I’ve never been happier.
You must play w/ the cards your dealt. It’s a cliche bc it’s true and you won’t really know what that means until you’re staring down these sorts of decisions. Eventually u will be able to make ur life work for u if your current position becomes truly unbearable. You may wake up and find simply venting has been enough
The fiscal stability is a major part of my dilemma. I feel foolish for wanting to bail on the cushy corpo gig, but I want to find enjoyment in my career if at all possible. My idealistic view of the industry puts me at a huge disadvantage from the start, so just accepting it is so much harder. Venting has definitely helped a bit, so thanks.
i think ur mind is in the right place.
you deserve happiness. Here's something I personally observed: the more concretely, eloquently, confidently, etc, I expressed my feelings and views regarding my frustrations the more the people in my life were inclined to respond positively to my plans beyond just sucking it up and going to work the next day. Your close friends and family, quite rightly, are never going to tell u to give up the paycheck and follow ur dreams at the drop of a hat. Even if ur plan post-office job is rock solid, some still won't.
having just gotten into a similar situation as my first ever job, i feel exactly like
. like, your exact situation is Waiting for mebut i think i've missed my window to apply for a phd this year, partially because of executive disfunction and a sudden funding issue, but partially because i was too busy trying to get/keep the bullshit job that i got explicitly to tide me over until my phd starts TO FUCKIGN WRITE MY PHD SHIT
A big company ain't a bad place to start your career tho, especially if its the industry you plan to stay in. It may start wearing on your eventually tho, so don't get to complacent. Get started on your thesis or w/e, you got this!
Funny you should ask...
I'm just not happy. I hate the industry, the culture, the work itself
Yeah, this is definitely me (well, minus the work itself I guess; I enjoy programming well enough, although other parts of my job are awful). But:
have been there for 10+ years
This is also me (I have a fancy Certificate on my shelf saying I've worked at the company for 10 years, with a lovely glass brick next to it that has the company's logo engraved on it).
I don't know much about this company you work at, but being a sourpuss all the time runs the risk of getting yourself fired, or at least on the shortlist for layoffs if they happen. You can get away with being a grump if your work is good, though, especially if you can make yourself valuable enough that they don't want to lose you.
As for everyone else: the reality of the working world is, no matter how you feel about it, you gotta keep bringing home that cash, so you do what you have to do to make sure you can. I'd bet more of your coworkers feel like you do than you'd guess, but it's not exactly safe to express that where the boss can hear.
All of that said, I'm working on getting into graduate school pretty soon, because I feel like I'm letting my life slip past me, so keep in mind that it's worth exploring possibilities beyond your current circumstances.
PS: Thanks for making this post, it proved to be the impetus I needed to finish up an email to a potential grad school professor.
The work itself is only bad because of the systemic corporate issues plus some niche things specific to my company. It's hard to disclose the specifics without it alluding to the actual company, but there are a lot of politics and bureaucracy that extends beyond our company and into our parent company, so much is out of our control and its frustrating. That said, I work in a QA/UAT capacity which under normal circumstances would mean working closely with the software engineers. However, the department I'm part of is more business centered and my "operations" role is a bit abstracted from the actual technical departments which encompass the engineering teams. However, I'm also user facing in a support and escalation capacity, so I'm sure you can see how hard it is having to test and support the software built by people I'm not really in contact with.
The 10+ year employees around me see that, accept it, and are fine being complacent cogs in the inefficient machine.
I'm trying to hard not to be sourpuss about it all and finding the right coworkers that I can safely vent to without it coming back to hurt me.
I wish I had the will to continue education, but good luck to you, sir. Seriously, what you said about life slipping by and exploring options has been a common theme in the feedback I've gotten from my wife and you all.
Thanks for the input, you're welcome for giving you a little nudge towards your goal, and good luck.
I’m almost always honest, positive or negative, so, respect.
Setting aside the particularities of your exact situation, I think there are two questions worth considering in situations like this.
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how reasonable/common is your disdain?
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how much do you value personal expression vs. social cohesion and general good relations?
- I think that's honestly what I'm trying to figure out. I think it's fairly common which is why my inner circle of friends who all work in similar situations are numb to it and I wanted external feedback.
- A lot, I think i would do better in a smaller environment with a more niche culture.
Thanks for asking these 2 questions tho, it definitely pulls me back to center a bit.
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. Am I wrong for not being able to suck it up and cash my check?
Kind of.
I do my job and enjoy it relatively, but ultimately I don’t care. I just care when the deposit hits every two weeks. Other than that it’s no different that shitting or brushing my teeth. I’ll complain about it being pointless and boring and dumb etc. but even that seems pointless because I’m sitting on a computer and typing for 8 hours, not unloading trucks of food or cleaning bathrooms.
If you only care about work then it’ll annoy you to no end. Find something to do that’s physically and/or mentally stimulating. Dogs and cats may run immediately to you when you open a can of food, but if you leave them inside the house all day even if their needs are met, they’ll become depressed.
... stifle my disdain?
Depends on who you're feeling disdain toward.If its your coworkers who are able to keep their heads down and get their paper, maybe a bit of an asshole.
If its toward yourself because you can't figure out how to keep your head down and superficially seem okay with the shitty job, you're not an asshole. Maybe take stock of your finances and see what type of pay cut you can live with. Start low key looking for a different job with a different employer.
