You need to drill a 3.5mm hole to get it

Don't think about that. Buy their wireless earbuds instead.

Its on a USB dongle.

1. Yes, at least in my experience.

2. I've used my Fairphone 4 since I got it in Febuary 2022, although I ordered it November 2021, replacing the Oneplus 3 I'd bought at release. Main reason for the upgrade was because of the relockable bootloader, which meant it would get CalyxOS support.

3. Repair is trivially easy. Like, you have to be an idiot to make a mess of it easy. Only thing I've replaced so far is the plastic back (for reasons explained in answer 4) which took literal seconds. I also bought a spare battery that can, again, be swapped in seconds. It's come in clutch several times. I've disassembled and reasessembled this phone to satisfy the same impulse I get when taking apart a pen.

4. I'm very clumsy, for reference repairing my old OP3 cost me double what I initially paid for it. The FP4 has so far landed face down on the pavement about as many times my OP3 did, and the only damage it's recieved is to the plastic back, which takes alot of the impact energy with it when it pops off. Eventually the back had so many chips in the sides it had to be replaced but everything else has remained fully functional despite such mistreatment. It's also thicker than most phones, it feels comfortably sturdy to hold. There was also a massive camera upgrade recently thanks to a software update, although being on CalyxOS I can't offer first hand impressions.

The issue is the software, security are applied months later if at all

I'm still using my FP3 that is now close to 4 years old. It's still working great. I just changed the battery once, but that was trivial to do. I didn't have to change anything else, but most parts are still available in their store.

Unlikely.

You can technically get a Fairphone 4 in the US. Unfortunately, it's only supported by T-Mobile's network.