Any talk by carnists about how "Well, if only you weren't so rude" is a smokescreen. Merely describing our views is met with thought-terminating cliches and accusations of wrecking, both of which get much more highly upvoted than our own comments.
Even if (as a lot of users have been claiming) the recent vegan posts were the result of wreckers, the response by the majority of the userbase has been so much more alienating than those original posts could be. The events of a year and a half ago are a lot less important to me than what I'm seeing today.
And what I'm seeing today is that Hexbear is about as vegan-friendly of a site as Reddit is: the movement is siloed within its own comm, has to regularly community ban people who wander in to snipe at it, and is met with extreme hostility anytime it ventures out into the main site.
One way Hexbear is better than Reddit: you can post in /c/food without dumbasses saying your meal sucks because there's no flesh in it. I don't really do vegan discourse online. It sucks to argue with extremely defensive carnists to an audience of mostly carnists. The status quo of the last year, where we don't have unprompted "annoying vegan" jokes like everywhere else on the internet, was good enough for me. I'm glad you brave souls are wading into it on my (and the animals') behalf though.