Whenever people and the mainstream media talk about "The trauma of COVID" they always mean the lockdowns and not the... you know... millions of deaths.
Well I have trauma about the deaths. I have trauma about the way our society was manipulated into sacrificing a huge chunk of the population with a smile and a wave, and how we just don't talk about it.
This same society still expects you to be horrified by the violence of 9/11 or whatever when the US alone was experiencing a 9/11 level of death every day and the disease is still killing, we just don't bother recording the spread anymore. What the fuck is wrong with people?!
I literally get (for lack of a better word) triggered when people talk about how hard it was to have to have to wear a mask or to not get a haircut or some selfish bullshit. Or when they act as though their kids remote learning for a while ruined them or something. It's all so petty. They just don't give a shit. They'd kill millions for a haircut. It makes my heart sink, my eyes glaze and I start dissociating.
Imagine if this was the blitzkrieg, and instead of going to bomb shelters people were just like "I'm sick of hearing about these bombings, I'm just going to pretend they're not happening and leave it up to fate." And then the bomb shelters are all closed and even the people who still wanted to take shelter are left to fend for themselves. What madness would have that been if they had done that during WW2? Dragging people into the street to be bombed?
I don't care if you were sick of lockdowns or restrictions! Fighting a pandemic should have been like fighting a war, we should have been doing everything we could to survive!
I am scared of these people. These brainwashed puppets. These eugenicists. If they can do this, well... it makes me feel surrounded by monsters. Like I can't trust anyone.
Covid def left me psychically wounded in a way that I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from. I wrote a whole damn book to help myself deal with it and tbh the ENTIRE THING spawned from reading about how ants deal with pathogens by systematically cleaning each other every day to keep their population as resistant to infection as possible. By INSTINCT they showcase "we're only as healthy as everyone is." We are social creatures too, we form societies too, we divide up our labor too, how the fuck did we get so alienated from something as basic as "keep each other healthy?"
I had this terror at my core for a while during the pandemic, this emptiness that comes from seeing an animal with some horrific prion disease die in pointless agony. It was like my community, my species, my social superorganism, was looking at pieces of itself turning black and rotting off and just watching in resignation.
All those families collapsed, all those futures forever marked, all that meat offered up to mankind's true predators that lurk in the microscopic margins, and somehow our incredible superorganism recovers, so that it can torture itself again later.