I have a couple of genuine IRL stressors that are really negatively affecting my mood. As well as time-related & distance related limitations to seeing anyone professionally about my problems & actually going anywhere to meet people. They mostly all revolve around my job, and the physical condition of my body; but IDK, they're probably not as bad as a number of other people's on here.

The real thing here is though, that I always feel fuckin' deeply ashamed of my own person, & who I am. That I'm not capable of what I want to be capable, and that I'm still not really independent by 30 (or I will be 30 in november I guess).

And I'm entirely horrified by the prospect of going to meet anyone new. Any new social encounter is just another opportunity for me to embarrass myself, or make myself & everyone around me feel fucking miserable. It doesn't matter how "outgoing" I try to be, or how much I try to approach people in good faith. Everything always turns to shit, and I can't ever help myself from making it worse.

I figured that this is something that most people on the site know already, but in case anyone wonders I do also have ASD; which, aside from the fact that I have already had a more animated thread about similar feelings to these in c/mentalhealth, is why I'm posting this here.

  • MitchFucko [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Can't add much that hasn't already been said better in this thread.

    Second getting a pet. For me it was a cat. He gives me someone to talk to and cares about me unconditionally (sounds cringe but fuck off). Not the same as human interaction, but it helps get through the times when I can't handle or access human interaction, without feeling 100% isolated.

    I'd emphasize that this is a process. Socializing and cultivating relationships is a skill, like learning to ride a bike. You'll make mistakes. So will people you're interacting with. Try to learn from the experiences and keep going, rather than obsessing about embarrassing things you've done or shitty things another person has done. Easier said than done.

    If you want someone to talk to or do online shit with PM me.