It seems to me that shortening the coronation and losing a few bits no one has heard of is fine as long as it’s still a big do with everyone dressed amusingly. It doesn’t have to be coronation robes - it could be fancy dress. Or themed fancy dress! The movies! Famous villains! Pretty in pink! Vicars and tarts! Space coronation! Choosing the theme could be a new tradition. It just needs to look insane and be presented as if it’s the most unsurprising thing in the world.

I support this message. The rest of the article is very bad of course, but if a country is going to insist on having a monarchy, the ceremony should at least be completely bonkers. What's the point of clinging to ancient tradition if everybody looks normal? I want to point at an inbred weirdo in a silly costume and say "what the fuck is going on here?"