There used to be this HG malt liquor called Earthquake that may have been the worst tasting shit I've ever had. But it was 12% abv (maybe higher) for two dollars. Similar lager called dog bite (get it? it's the dog that bit you in that "hair of the dog" saying?) that had a silhouette of a three headed pitbull on the can . Actually kinda looked like an energy drink. Pigs didn't seem to recognize it as beer in any event. I think might be oop, tho. Cheap vodka and water is a better deal every time.
That said, alcoholism is one of the toughest things i've ever had to deal with because of the availability and price of a "fix". The best thing to overcome a drinking habit, or any habit ime, is time away from it. Much easier said than done when we're talking physical and mental addiction to a substance. Particularly hard, again, when it's everywhere or it's normative in a social setting. But alcohol punches you down and causes you to withdraw from life and responsibility, compounding problems as you drink, and making them seem insurmountable when you're sober (why even try anything? let's get drunk and forget this hellstorm). With a disposition to depression, substance abuse is all the more difficult to overcome. Add external stresses of everyday life, and alcohol seems an appealing escape each and every shitty-feeling day. But the rub is that it makes shit worse. And it stops working right. That playful delight you are seeking in a buzz might be a twenty minute window before the dark pall casts its shadow over your day all over again, if that feeling even comes at all. The shitty decisions and resignation to nihilism seems baked into this particular addiction. And the guilt. Oh boy the guilt.
I am only writing this because I saw a couple of other of your posts and it seems like you are going through some difficult times. I am not trying to lecture or be didactic, just share how I feel and my experience. From the inside of addiction, imagining a scenario where you don't wake up everyday obsessively thinking about and directing your energy toward getting fucked up seems impossible. Hopeless. I heard this from others before and it didn't matter much when I was in the midst of it, but it is possible stop. Even desirable. I still struggle with all the things that existed before I quit drinking so much like lack of money, legal shit, cleaning my house. But I feel so much better, and a healthy amount of my depression was tied up with my relationship to substances. I don't wanna be lame because it's not always the right time to share this or hear this, but there is something about your situation as you've described that is VERY relatable to me, and I just wanna say that tomorrow is up for grabs. Each moment, really. The first moments away are the hardest, but each time I say "nah" to myself is a little victory. seconds become hours become days become weeks, and it gets easier. I broke my quasi-rule of "no unsolicited advice". Sorry. Best of luck with everything, comrade. I'm rooting for you.
Yep defnitely. Alcoholism im dealing with at this point. I prefer Opioids but when Im broke, i tend to use alcohol because it's the cheapest intoxicant there is.
There used to be this HG malt liquor called Earthquake that may have been the worst tasting shit I've ever had. But it was 12% abv (maybe higher) for two dollars. Similar lager called dog bite (get it? it's the dog that bit you in that "hair of the dog" saying?) that had a silhouette of a three headed pitbull on the can . Actually kinda looked like an energy drink. Pigs didn't seem to recognize it as beer in any event. I think might be oop, tho. Cheap vodka and water is a better deal every time.
That said, alcoholism is one of the toughest things i've ever had to deal with because of the availability and price of a "fix". The best thing to overcome a drinking habit, or any habit ime, is time away from it. Much easier said than done when we're talking physical and mental addiction to a substance. Particularly hard, again, when it's everywhere or it's normative in a social setting. But alcohol punches you down and causes you to withdraw from life and responsibility, compounding problems as you drink, and making them seem insurmountable when you're sober (why even try anything? let's get drunk and forget this hellstorm). With a disposition to depression, substance abuse is all the more difficult to overcome. Add external stresses of everyday life, and alcohol seems an appealing escape each and every shitty-feeling day. But the rub is that it makes shit worse. And it stops working right. That playful delight you are seeking in a buzz might be a twenty minute window before the dark pall casts its shadow over your day all over again, if that feeling even comes at all. The shitty decisions and resignation to nihilism seems baked into this particular addiction. And the guilt. Oh boy the guilt.
I am only writing this because I saw a couple of other of your posts and it seems like you are going through some difficult times. I am not trying to lecture or be didactic, just share how I feel and my experience. From the inside of addiction, imagining a scenario where you don't wake up everyday obsessively thinking about and directing your energy toward getting fucked up seems impossible. Hopeless. I heard this from others before and it didn't matter much when I was in the midst of it, but it is possible stop. Even desirable. I still struggle with all the things that existed before I quit drinking so much like lack of money, legal shit, cleaning my house. But I feel so much better, and a healthy amount of my depression was tied up with my relationship to substances. I don't wanna be lame because it's not always the right time to share this or hear this, but there is something about your situation as you've described that is VERY relatable to me, and I just wanna say that tomorrow is up for grabs. Each moment, really. The first moments away are the hardest, but each time I say "nah" to myself is a little victory. seconds become hours become days become weeks, and it gets easier. I broke my quasi-rule of "no unsolicited advice". Sorry. Best of luck with everything, comrade. I'm rooting for you.
Yep defnitely. Alcoholism im dealing with at this point. I prefer Opioids but when Im broke, i tend to use alcohol because it's the cheapest intoxicant there is.