it is incredibly baffling to me. like if i'm sending a picture of my little bone to someone asking for a rating, the last thing i want to do is include money with the request. it taints the sanctity of the rating process by artificially inflating your score. i don't want someone saying i have an 8/10 dick when it's really a 4 or 5. it's insanity

  • WeedReference420 [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I guess it would be kinda cool if you could request a review in a certain style - Personally I'm torn between "Steve1989MREinfo review" and "Snake in MGS3 talking about his M1911".

    But fr I presume it's a fetish thing lmao.

    • Antoine_St_Hexubeary [none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I want mine reviewed in the style of a late 70s Rolling Stone album review.

      "It was once suggested to me that one of the greatest tragedies of American avant-garde cinema is the fact that Lawrence Jordan never made a feature-length film. I responded, and I still believe this to be true today, that what his films lack in length, they make up for with their fabulous use of colour. And speaking of fabulously coloured length-lacking things..."

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
      ·
      2 years ago

      SIGINT: "Hey, he's got a dick!"

      Snake: "Yeah, a Russian cock, uncircumcised since the days of eastern orthodox hegemony. It's a real package."

      SIGINT: "But aren't you gonna need more than just one little penis?"

      Snake: "Not at all, when you're in a tight man, or fucking in close quarters, sometimes a prick works better than a hog. And if I reach around at the same time, I can instantaneously start jerking him off.

      SIGINT: "I see. That dick is a lot different from the original though. Looks like someone did some serious work on it."

      Snake: "It's more than a little. First of all, the shaft is waxed to a mirror sheen. It's not going to cause any irritation going in my mouth. The urethra's been decorated with a reverse deep-shaft Prince Albert piercing that meshes perfectly with the silver cockring. The ring itself has been polished and remolded for maximum erection. The balls have been washed and powdered. That prevents any chafing. The foreskin's original too. It's loosened, giving it superior lubricating capabilities. The head and the glans are extended to allow for more precise handling, and the base of the shaft is trimmed down, so you can use a low grip. The shaft circumference is about 3.5 inches. That's about a half inch smaller than normal. The midshaft shape has been changed to a curved type to increase the angle, and it's even been fitted with veins so it doesn't go soft in a condom when cumming. On top of that, they added cocking serrations to the front part of the slide. That lets you load and eject cartridges faster in an emergency. Who ever did this is a professional -- no question. This thing could shoot a thick rope on my chest at 4 feet in a glory hole."

      SIGINT: "Well I'll be damned! That's some penis!"

      Snake: "Yeah, I've never sucked a cock this fine in my life."