it is incredibly baffling to me. like if i'm sending a picture of my little bone to someone asking for a rating, the last thing i want to do is include money with the request. it taints the sanctity of the rating process by artificially inflating your score. i don't want someone saying i have an 8/10 dick when it's really a 4 or 5. it's insanity
First of all :jesse-wtf:
Secondly it sounds like the only just way forward is to remove the profit motive from dick rating. That's right, it's time to nationalize the dick rating industry and transform it into a public service
You claim you're a communist and yet you expect a worker to rate a penis for zero compensation?
Dick rating is serious business that requires advanced training, certification and liability insurance. If you get your dick rated by an unlicensed amateur you might get incorrect results which could cause you severe damage and expense in the long run.
Better safe than sorry. Pay the ten bucks to have a professional do the job.
hopefully you'll only get a score for 10 bucks, a full dick review should be compensated much better than that
smh unlicensed amateurs trying to take a dick's rating without a calibrated dick wrench.
God I've been writing so much website copy the last few weeks that this triggered something in me
that would make more sense than paying 10 dollars to be told your dick is good
Dudes rock, but they also be insecure about their dick for a variety of reasons. Feels nice to pay someone to tell you your dick's good (or bad, I don't kinkshame)
I've never had my dick rated by anyone btw
are you comfortable with the relative ambiguity regarding the quality of your dick?
Yeah, honestly. I never even measured the fucker on account of I didn't think it'd make me happy either way. Sex is much more than penetatrive intercourse anyhow. I was never under the illusion it's my dick-slingin game that kept the broads comin' back to me
If this is a slight against me I accept it but I'm also much too dumb to figure out to say I've had sexual partners multiple times without turning it into some kind of joke
i'm not trying to be mean, i am genuinely happy that the broads found their way back
I have a huge dick, and the cultural worship of penis size is pretty bizarre. Most people don't want to get fucked by something as a thick as a coke can (or at least not for very long) or get lock jaw.
I'm gonna go ahead and say your dick is a solid 12/10. They're good dicks, bront.
The government needs to intervene to establish a consistent calibration of dick rating services across the country, we can't have people getting ripped off because of faulty measurement instruments
exactly. these people on onlyfans are basically the chiropractors of rating dicks until we get some perspective here
sorry but i have to until i see some board certified dick raters
Next week in Jacobin: “Now is the time for a National Dick-rating service.”
A girl once asked me if I had ever considered making a dildo mold, which was a nice compliment in retrospect.
where is this and who is doing it? i want in on this grift dammit
it's easier than you think. make an onlyfans page with you in a lab coat using a jewelers loupe and i'm sure the requests will come rolling in
you put dick rating on your menu because you copied your menu from someone else and it was already there
then when you get a dick rating request you type up a small number of sentences complimenting/critiquing the dong they send you a pic of, maybe add some flirty role play shit (e.g. "I'd love to [something voluntary and incelibate]") and an X/10 rating.
make sure to offer the standard $10 dick rating, both honest and lie variations, and then also offer the $20 audio review and $50 video review (rates may vary). also make sure to do on-brand stuff, like for example if you're doing findom call him a paypig while making mocking oinking noises or w/e.
god sex work is awesome. it rocks that people will pay money for that kind of thing lol
It's all over :reddit-logo:, twitter and probably the more NSFW websites
When sex work is legalized and regulated, there will be a service for 100% accurate dick ratings :rat-salute-2:
Imagine a bored ass dmv lady telling you your dick is a 3/10 lmao
I honestly think that men worry about their size more because the media has tons and tons of messaging about how men with small dicks are lesser and completely unworthy of love or respect than out of fear of sexual rejection. So it wouldn't help to not tell anyone because the only one that actually cares about the issue is themselves
How's that any different from getting a penis inspection when you go to the dentist? You're already paying for the exam and that's telling you your teeth score.
i think they should be more explicit about that then. once you include the concept of a rating out of 10 it's obscured behind a layer of presumed objectivity which is tainted with a bribe
I mean the whole point of sex work is about paying for fulfillment. It's the challenge of the sex worker to ensure the customer's needs are properly communicated so they can be fulfilled and be a repeat customer. One customer maybe looking to hear how big their cock is, while another is looking to be humiliated. That's what they're really buying.
i just don't trust it. if you're telling me my dick is awful i want some specifics, especially if we're doing a rating out of 10
at that point i'm gonna hire a team to make actual guidelines, not just for my dick, but for everyone's
I guess it would be kinda cool if you could request a review in a certain style - Personally I'm torn between "Steve1989MREinfo review" and "Snake in MGS3 talking about his M1911".
But fr I presume it's a fetish thing lmao.
I want mine reviewed in the style of a late 70s Rolling Stone album review.
"It was once suggested to me that one of the greatest tragedies of American avant-garde cinema is the fact that Lawrence Jordan never made a feature-length film. I responded, and I still believe this to be true today, that what his films lack in length, they make up for with their fabulous use of colour. And speaking of fabulously coloured length-lacking things..."
SIGINT: "Hey, he's got a dick!"
Snake: "Yeah, a Russian cock, uncircumcised since the days of eastern orthodox hegemony. It's a real package."
SIGINT: "But aren't you gonna need more than just one little penis?"
Snake: "Not at all, when you're in a tight man, or fucking in close quarters, sometimes a prick works better than a hog. And if I reach around at the same time, I can instantaneously start jerking him off.
SIGINT: "I see. That dick is a lot different from the original though. Looks like someone did some serious work on it."
Snake: "It's more than a little. First of all, the shaft is waxed to a mirror sheen. It's not going to cause any irritation going in my mouth. The urethra's been decorated with a reverse deep-shaft Prince Albert piercing that meshes perfectly with the silver cockring. The ring itself has been polished and remolded for maximum erection. The balls have been washed and powdered. That prevents any chafing. The foreskin's original too. It's loosened, giving it superior lubricating capabilities. The head and the glans are extended to allow for more precise handling, and the base of the shaft is trimmed down, so you can use a low grip. The shaft circumference is about 3.5 inches. That's about a half inch smaller than normal. The midshaft shape has been changed to a curved type to increase the angle, and it's even been fitted with veins so it doesn't go soft in a condom when cumming. On top of that, they added cocking serrations to the front part of the slide. That lets you load and eject cartridges faster in an emergency. Who ever did this is a professional -- no question. This thing could shoot a thick rope on my chest at 4 feet in a glory hole."
SIGINT: "Well I'll be damned! That's some penis!"
Snake: "Yeah, I've never sucked a cock this fine in my life."
Mods don't delete, this is just dialogue from the game.
Buy me dinner for today and I'll take a peek at your wiener and give it a rating for ya, I'm just going to say it's a 10 because I only care about my food, but hey you'll feel better.
if i had the money i'd pay you 20 dollars for an objective reading
i've been writing one in my head that starts with "PMC barista soyfacing at my Adam Friedland shirt"
"Labor aristocrat podcaster class DSA Karens refusing to rate my bugmeat"
