And the pronoun asked me, does a bear shit in the woods?
Pronouns folks. What's up with those things? So they're professional nouns? We'll I'd like to see their credentials!
How about amateur-nouns? You don't need a SJW degree for that!
Anti-fa is in the news again. Did you hear about this? Antifa? Yeah they're out in the streets again. I see one and I go up to them and ask them "Why are you wearing that mask? Did Dr Fauci mandate it?"
I saw BadStandupMusk at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
had the pleasure of meeting Elon Musk at a Dave Chappelle show once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.
I once walked up to Elon Musk and asked him for $203,000,000. He said, "Ok. Do you want that in cash or as a check." I said “Neither. Give it all to my biggest hater.” He did it.
My reason? If my hater has $203,000,000 then I will make it my life goal to make $204,000,000.
Most people don’t realize the value of the grind, the hustle, the chase. But Elon did. He knew you can’t put a dollar value on that.
I was over at my buddy's house the other day, Dave Chappelle. Great guy. I taught him a lot about comedy. He asks me if I wanted something to drink. I said sure and he offered me some grape koolaid. But I was like "purple stuff? what's that? I want Sunny D!"
Sunny D should not be allowed to be a thing. It is horrifying.
A little about me, I'm Elon Musk. I'm a billionaire and I was in the city the other day to buy twitter. Spent $44 Billion dollars. That's right. $44 billion.
Some people say that's a lot of money but I was going to spend $88 billion on it before my wife divorced me.
That's genuinely the best joke ever told by someone named Elon Musk
Using someone’s preferred pronouns that are different than what I assume them to be is unkind, and silly. By the way, here’s my son X Æ A-Xii
elon, what do you think is the most important part of crafting a joke?
Most people would say timing but I think it's all about the intelligence. The joke must be smart or it won't land. I enjoy smart things. It's why I enjoy Catturd.