1. Never go to a second location

  2. Always get the interior ministry post

  3. Never get in a helicopter or any small aircraft

  4. If someone with a gun enters your car, they’re gonna kill you

  5. If someone tells your they’re not going to kill you, they’re calming you down to kill you later

  6. Never give up your nukes

  7. Never release opposition political prisoners

  8. Never let the opposition delay elections

  9. If someone starts to get into German runes drop them

  10. Never trust a South American with a German name

  11. Never move anywhere for a religion (subsect of rule 1?)

  12. Never go into the sewers unless you’re a sewer guy

  13. If someone’s trying to get you to commit a crime their fbi (sometimes cia or military intelligence)

  14. Never become a fbi informant

  15. If you do become a fbi informant record everything

  16. Never relinquish your arms

  17. Always get it in writing

  18. If you keep gambling you’ll eventually win

  19. Never talk to cops without a lawyer

  20. Always pay your mercenaries

  21. Don’t let anyone take your passport

  • AppelTrad [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    But it's completely true! The only problems are:

    • running out of money
    • dying

    first.