Also, literally who cares. This isn't politics. Zoomers and millenials are very left-wing and that hasn't changer significantly in recent years. This isn't happening at scales that are shifting the political landscape. Idk why there is an obsession with this shit.
Advice on how to overcome toxic masculinity does indeed make one a better person, not a better man. It is still a gender specific problem, though. And when we want to adress it and do something about it, we can't do that without men.
Unfortunately the best advice i have to offer in that regard is "just stop wanting to be a dude, this shit crumbles immediately when you realize you've been a girl all along". That obviously doesn't help cis dudes, even though it was a complete game changer for me and how i relate to people, how i take care of my friendships, how i access and regulate my emotions, if and how i seek help when i'm in trouble, how other people treat me and also how i talk to women i want to date (or at least write smut with). And i can say with 100% certainty that being molded into an emotionally dead, constantly guarded shell of a human being constantly fighting for control is literally killing men. It's just very difficult to adress that when the same molding also makes men kill women before they kill themselves. This is the central contradiction of the left's ability to tackle men's issues: We recognize the privilege men have, and they do, cismasculinity is the default gender in our society and on top of nearly all hierarchies. But we struggle to address the fact that this privilege comes with a price for them because capitalism gives you nothing for free. Boys get broken until they can become the oppressors that capital needs to manage its institutions, let its political power grow out of the barrel of the gun and stratify society in ways that are conducive to the egotistical nightmare worldview of eternal oneupmanship that is the ideological backbone of the capitalist hustle. This is on purpose. And we cannot fight patriarchy, and by extension capitalism, if we do not heal men from this hellish mindset.
Men want to get the girl, not be the girl.
Silly boys, why not both?
Yoda voice: "and this is why you fail"
Well yeah, this probably wouldn't work as well for guys as it does for me. Like i said, i can't really help people who are men and need to maintain some kind of male gender role. I can just relate to how being expected to perform as a man fucks people up.
I guess my corollary to this, being somebody that is deeply entrenched within exactly the kind of personal hell that you're describing, is that I don't really think that you're going to fix or solve the mindset issue without first solving the material issue.
The fact is, or at least my experience is that the reason men adopt the mindset that they do is because it's required of them to actually compete, to keep themselves "alive", and to meet their needs within society as it is presently constituted. Unless you can directly prove that they can still achieve all those things, that they can still sustain themselves & exist as a meaningful member of society right now without having to compete in the ways that they do, then you don't have any real basis by which to argue against it other than acknowledging the fact that it's a fuckin' miserable existence that hurts themselves & others. Which yes it is, but the alternative is material squalor & total social disenfranchisement, you in fact might as well just fucking kill yourself in that scenario because you're going to die early, wretched, alone & unremarked upon anyways.
And like no you can't reasonably expect most people to be willing to take that option; that is IMO the problem with, and to some extent the paucity of the critique of Toxic Masculinity. It refuses to acknowledge that there are real material reasons why it exists; and it's not just some kind of bizarre cognitohazard that propagates completely independent of the social or material reality of the moment.