Turns out that the perturbation order that I worked on is purely dissipative and that all that work was pointless lmao.
Update: Turns out that I was just sloppy and forgot to include transition rates in the final step of my calculation. Seems like I can proceed as usual.
Well that'll teach you for learning enough math to master Hamiltonians. They have taken us for absolute fools.
I'm kinda beginning to wish I'd become a scientist in whatever field this is so I could name something new after myself:
Evilsandwichmanians!
Legit though, if I ever discovered something new that people would be applying in their mathematical research for years to come, I'd choose something long and tedious to say but just short enough that you wouldn't abbreviate it and circumvent the intention of being annoying.
Hamilton the musical, but it's about William Rowan Hamilton.