It sounds extremely corny and melodramatic but he's my oldest friend and I can't bare to see him like this. He can barely walk to the litterbox anymore and he doesn't eat. I spent about an hour just weaping after I made the appointment. The vet is coming to my home to do it there, I don't want to bring him to a strange and stressful environment for his final moments. I am not joking when I say that I love this cat more than almost anyone in my life. I spent so much of my life alone but he was always there and ready to comfort me, and when I was recovering from surgery he was the only thing keeping me company. As he's got older I've reminded myself to cherish every moment we have left but now that we've reached the end of our time together I'm just so damn distraught. My other cat was an outdoor cat (we adopted a stray we were feeding and she hated our indoor cat, don't start this struggle session right now) and I didn't get to be with her when she died, our neighbor found her in his yard. I had imagined that she'd come back and pass away in the shelter we built here where she slept every night, but no. I feel like I really missed something because I wasn't there when she died, and I don't want that with this cat. Idk how I can do anything between now and then, it's all I'm thinking about. Alright I think I'm gonna cry again for a bit and look at pictures of him.