I'm lowkey really proud of myself for pulling out of this shit without antidepressants or prescriptions of any kind (which is just dumb hubris, honestly; don't be like me), and only mild amounts of substance abuse. Oh right haha and a shit ton of crying, like massive amounts, like every day, all day, until I cried myself to sleep. But I finally reached out to people about it, even though it made me feel vulnerable and pathetic, and was amazed to discover I actually have friends who care. People have been inviting me to all sorts of social shit that I frankly would never do usually, but getting outside my comfort zone and being around people I would never normally bond with actually made me see the good in those people, who I usually find insufferable. I don't know. It's just like after a month straight of the soul's darkest night, out of nowhere, the light just broke. Or my brain did.

Either way, I'm happy I no longer want to die! Please let this feeling last :crush: