"Traditional" brainrot meets "modern" brainrot.

spoiler

The couple dressed in Indian wedding regalia stand knee-deep in a lake, bouncing their shoulders to a Bollywood song. The groom then bumps his betrothed, loses his balance and topples into the water, finery and all.

It wasn’t an act. The video, shot ahead of the couple’s wedding and meant to evoke their romance, was an epic fail — at least at first. Then the clip turned into an Instagram sensation, amassing 13 million views.

“People started recognizing us at meetings, social gatherings, other weddings,” says Jyothi Lakshmi, the 26-year-old bride. “The fall was worth it.”

Middle-class India has a new obsession: pre-wedding videos. They’re extravagantly designed and choreographed, with music, dance routines and, often, movie-style sets. They can cost more than the honeymoon. Many are redolent with romance, while others turn disastrous. Some go viral on social media.

“Nobody wants to look at stiff, hours-long wedding videos of chanting priests and the couple doing saat pheras, seven circles around the holy fire,” said Gautam Swaroop, chief executive officer of Weddingz, a platform for wedding services. “These days, couples want to show off their cool factor.”

India’s wedding industry is gargantuan, with three million weddings in the season that ends this year in March and annual revenue of about $130 billion, according to Murugavel Janakiraman, founder & CEO of India’s largest online matchmaker, Matrimony.com. Many are week-long affairs with rituals, blingy outfits, diamond jewelry, dancing and feasting.

Some old mores are giving way to newer ones in the digital age. Pre-wedding shoots have soared in popularity as the liberalizing, youthful country intersects with a love of online video. These clips are popping up on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and homegrown platforms like Sharechat.

Many videos push the boundaries of creativity to stand out. In one, a groom twirls his bride in a sprawling dump, sending her hair, saree and pieces of garbage flying as a hovering drone captures the action. In another, a couple on a motorcycle soar over a truck in a thriller-style chase scene. The couples shoot everywhere – in public parks, in front of monuments as well as inside temples and gyms.

Rajesh Dembla, a wedding photographer, saw the budding opportunity and started Sets in the City, a 7.5 acre plot in the suburbs of Mumbai with 50 fake venues including Venetian canals and Victorian cathedrals. He offers professional make-up artists, flashy outfits and lighting experts for as much as $1,000 for a day’s shoot. His venues are booked through the season.

Dheeraj Vijayan, whose runs a firm called White Owl Weddings that produces videos for such ceremonies, said there’s pressure on photographers and choreographers to come up with fresh ideas. Many couples want to be “famous for a day,” he said.

One photographer in the southern Thrissur town hung upside down from a tree to get an original perspective on the couple-to-be. He was quickly dubbed “vavval,” or the bat, on the internet.

Param Patil, 32, a photographer based in Sholapur, recently shot a video where the couple staged a mock home invasion. An intruder, a foreigner, sneaks into the house and pushes the groom out of the frame, before the couple is merrily reunited.

While it’s mostly fun and frolic, it’s still India. Couples want to keep passionate scenes out of the sight of traditional relatives.

“One recent couple wanted a steamy video for their own circles and another boy-meets-girl love story to share with wider family,” said Patil. But the young couple came to their pre-wedding shoot with eight family members, zapping any hope for flirtation or passion. “The video was a dud,” Patil said. :::

Neoliberalism has managed to turn something already dogshit into a different kind of dogshit. Everything about this is so stupid.

“One recent couple wanted a steamy video for their own circles and another boy-meets-girl love story to share with wider family,” said Patil. But the young couple came to their pre-wedding shoot with eight family members, zapping any hope for flirtation or passion. “The video was a dud,” Patil said.

Oops turns out everyone's still extremely romantically and sexually repressed.

  • Shoegazer [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Reminds me of the TLC show where they ask couples if they want a house or dream wedding, and many chose dream wedding :niko-wonderous:

  • sooper_dooper_roofer [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    For any other Desis, what's the ethnic breakdown like?

    Are Tamils, Malayalis, etc just as garish on their weddings as Punjabis and Marathis? Is this something restricted to the cities?
    I'm asking because I've always perceived most criticisms of India to be north-centric, and basically any mention of India really refers to "Punjab Gujarat and up to Bengal"

    My gut feeling though is that this is just a rich bourgeois thing that is transcending ethnicity, especially with all the focus on "Venice drapes" and stuff.

      • sooper_dooper_roofer [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Some people have a social expectation to throw banquets that bankrupt them, and some have no choice but to keep it humble

        How common is it for there to be people with money who keep it humble out of choice?

    • Tari_esi76 [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Marriage in my mom's tribe usually starts with the couple eloping. Then the boy's relatives go to the girl's parents house and they talk about it. Most of the times the girl's parents okay for marriage. Sometimes when the parents don't agree to their marriage, some still get married without permission. Some weeks after this the girl is brought to the boy's house and after some ceremony they live together. The ceremony is not extravagant but I live in a village where most are poor. I have never been to any other state and know nothing about other tribes in the state I live.

  • supafuzz [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Well how are you supposed to know how much you love each other if you don't quantify it with money

    • Melitopol [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      Many of them don't even remotely like each other and are "forced" to marry strangers by their families (this particularly affects women of course, men have a bit more leeway.). Most of it is just show.

        • Goblinmancer [any]
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          edit-2
          2 years ago

          I mean there must be a reason why boomers everywhere go "hahaah my wife bad"

  • CanYouFeelItMrKrabs [any, he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Indian weddings are far too big and extravagant. I guess inviting hundreds of people made sense when that was the entire village but now it's just ridiculous

    Mock home invasion!?!?

    • Shoegazer [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Mock home invasion!?!?

      For my wedding, my soon-to-be-bride will be stuck inside a washing machine as her step dad pushes it down the aisle towards me

      • CanYouFeelItMrKrabs [any, he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        I forgot to mention the worst part, they are multiple days long. But only the close friends and family are there for every single ceremony, some come just for the main day

  • THC
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Just get married on paper and have a modest vacation or family dinner. What a waste.

    I got married at Niagara falls when gay marraige was just getting legalized. Brought my whole family along. White water rapids, beautiful fall day at the falls. Had a justice of the peace do it for a few hundred bucks. It was photogenic AF and cost under $5k.