So far in my life I've managed to not pick up any, never even had a close call. My partner (open relationship of almost 2 years) recently told me they are going to a group event. They are really excited for this event and have really wanted to do one for a long time. They were telling me about it with a bright smile so I was happy for them. Then they said someone in the group "had herpes but is managing it well." I want to trust my partner to know their other partners well enough, but this is a new scenario for me. I know it is technically manageable but it makes me a bit uncomfortable knowing they are going to take this risk.

I'm looking for advice. What do I do? Do I tell my partner not to go? Is herpes fully manageable and not a concern at all? Does that matter if I don't want any more things in my life to manage? Is using protection safe enough on its own or do people need to take the anti-viral suppressants to really make sure? Can I even ask someone if they're taking it? (The person lives in an area where that is provided without charge if that changes anything.) I don't know. I feel like I'm not being true to the progressive (call me a lib rn, whatever) values I claim if I tell my partner not to go while worrying about an apperently manageable STD.