They/themming someone exclusively who uses different pronouns is shitty and misgendering, but is it alright to use they/them for literally anyone in addition to the pronouns they use, leaning towards using their specific pronouns?

I'm in two camps. On one hand, I've always used language like this for cis people and I see this reflected in how other people speak and in the media. On the other hand, I know it sucks when someone only uses they/them for you.

So, what are your thoughts hexbear?

Edit: reminder that preferred pronouns when you just mean someone's pronouns is antiquated language

  • RikerDaxism [it/its]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Do you specify that is or is that something that is just expected? It is reasonable if it is the latter, I'm just trying to figure out the social assumptions I should be making when outside my circle of trans friends that communicate more explicitly about this stuff

    • artificialset [she/her, fae/faer]
      ·
      2 years ago

      My expectation is to use the pronouns I provided. The neopronouns I have are kind of a new thing and I don't think I have any interest in using them outside of queer spaces, so I just provide she/her IRL. I feel like if I wanted they/them I would say so.